Je Ne Regrette Rien
by ShinigamiMailJeevas
Summary: His head was lifted by his hair and this time he was able to focus on the speech.'Now state your name for the camera detective.'his head lulled foreword and his greasy hair fell into his eyes though his face was still clearly visible.'My name is-' EDITED
1. Prologue: Water

**AN 2010:** So as you should know by now, I have edited WSF and NAA and now this is finally edited.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note, blah blah or make money from it.

**AN**: OMG! I got this finished faaaaaar quicker than I thought I would. So here it is. **We Sleep Forever** and **Not An Angel's** sequel. Je Ne Regret Rien! (I Regret Nothing) I promise it will have some familiar themes but the plot a bit different, the other two fics were used to set this one up.

**Suggested Listening**: Numb **by** Holly McNarland

**Prologue**: _Water_

His breaths were ragged and tore at his thin frame. His eyelids fluttered open and closed rapidly but he just couldn't seem to keep them completely open.

"Are you ready to tell us what we want to know?" the brown haired man, in his late forties, in front of him asked. Although it felt like he had no strength left in him, he wasn't about to give in just yet.

Through hooded eyes he spat at the man and smirked when the man looked disgusted. "So that's your answer? You think you are going to hold out on us forever? You think that this is the worst we will do?" the man laughed.

"You have no idea what they have planned for you. You will be granted a quick death if you spill everything now." he grit his teeth as the man grabbed his chin and forced him to stare directly into hazel eyes.

"I wont." he managed to whisper. The man snorted and shoved him backwards. He landed ungracefully on the concrete floor; dirty hair falling into his face.

"So be it then." the man turned heal and walked out the door. He was never the one who tortured him. And it was never the same person, or pair of person's everyday. They switched it up so he couldn't mentally prepare himself.

He was at a disadvantage.

Besides the major disadvantage of being their _prisoner_.

He laughed harshly at that; his throat hurt with the effort, completely parched from lack of water; and they had only been feeding him dry food with little to no moisture content.

He looked up at the sound of the door opening again and watched as a large metal tank was rolled in. That didn't bode well, whatever it was. This time his tormentor was a tall, large built, man with a shaved head.

They didn't bother with things like hiding their faces from him, showing him that he was never going to get free. But he wasn't worried... he would get out. Be it death or rescue, he would leave.

And he would _never _tell them a damn thing.

"You are in for a treat today!" the burly man said jovially. "I decided that since you haven't had much water in the past few days that you should get lot of it today."

He shrank back from the hands that grabbed at him but could no longer fight efficiently. His body could hardly support his own weight as he was dragged naked over to the tank.

They had taken his clothes the first day he had been there and hadn't given him anything to wear since.

Water torture... it wasn't going to be fun.

"But detective... you wont be going through this alone." he looked up curiously at his captor, none of his emotions showing other than weariness. "In fact, this is going to be broadcast live in just a moment, once Eli gets back."

Live? To who? Oh god please not-

"The entire world will be watching. You will be the first live broadcast and you won't even be dying." he felt almost sad at the last words but shook those thoughts off. He needed to stay strong, and if he were having suicidal thoughts he may as well just bite his own tongue. But he wouldn't, he _needed_ to survive.

Eli, a small statured woman, walked in with a hood and cloak already in place, as well as a mask just in case the hood fell back. She gave matching items to the man and he watched as their identities were fully hidden and a computer was taken out and switched on; a red light lit up and he could just barely see the webcam.

The man had him in his grasp again and he wasn't even given any warning as his head was dunked into the icy water.

He couldn't breath, he had water in his mouth, and closing his lips did nothing for the amount he had already ingested. He was thrashing about but was held in place by the man; just when he felt he could take no more he was pulled free.

He was held up as he spat out water and his burning lungs gasped for air to fill themselves. He couldn't think. Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out. That was everything to him at the moment. He couldn't even concentrate on the words being said around him.

He didn't fight this time as he was submerged again. He had taken a deep breath, as deep as he could before the water was rushing around him again. But he was too tired to really hold all the air and was forced to expel it.

His chest burned and his heart beat rapidly in his ears like a drum. Spots formed in his vision and he fought once more. His head was beginning to hurt and his lungs gave out.

He swallowed water and closed his eyes in sorrow; he was dying.

And just as he had accepted the fact he was pulled free and tossed on the floor where he vomited up the water. He took shaky breaths and his chest wheezed in effort to support his life.

His head was lifted by his hair and this time he was able to focus on the speech.

"Now state your name for the camera, detective." his head lulled foreword and his greasy hair fell into his eyes though his face was still clearly visible.

"M-my name is..."

-**End **_**Water**_-

**AN**: Ohhhhhhhh so here the prologue is! Hahaha so who does everyone think the prisoner is, I give a cookie to who gets it right.......


	2. Chapter 1: Subsist

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note damn it! OK? Geeze.......

**AN**: Wow....... I had been having problems with how to get this started and then as soon as Silent Dance had been finished BAM! I just couldn't stop writing. :) Issa so happy.

*Cough* I love my reviewers. Though only one of you guessed right… heheh. OK, well that's a lie, my beta (who tells me my review over IM) guessed right too, for once. :)

Btw. My hands are about to fall off from this chapter .... seriously! Over 6,000 words, what the hell!?

**And bad news.**... because this is so long I'm not going to keep the same update schedule.... heh. Sorry.... but I won't make u wait too long, mostly because _I_ get impatient.

**Suggested Listening**: Hell No **by** KAT-TUN**;** Lover's End **by **The Birthday Massacre

**Chapter One**: _Subsist_

_~Mello~_

"Do you have everything?" I asked and my red haired lover looked up. The last of the dye had finally come out so all of his natural red hair was back, about damn time too.

"Yeah, but I don't see why I can't just stay here with you until you're done." Matt grumbled dejectedly as he shoved one last pack of cigarettes into his jacket. I sighed and walked around the edge of the bed and pulled him into a hug.

"I'll miss you too. You and your unhealthy habit." he snorted as I wrinkled my nose at his cigarettes. "You know L has far better resources and could use the help. I won't be more than a few days." I told him. If only I could actually believe myself...

He leaned in closer and with an all too familiar grin captured my lips. I allowed it until we were both gasping for air. "You know we can't do anything now. You have to leave in a few minutes." he shrugged a shoulder and bit my bottom lip.

Surprised, I didn't fight him when he maneuvered us backwards. He pushed us onto the bed and despite myself I wrapped my arms around him. He kissed down my jaw and I knew I would have marks from him.

I tugged his lips to mine and felt him grin. The bastard was doing this purposely. But I found myself lacking care in any shape or form as his fingers went to my belt.

I threaded my fingers in his hair and groaned into the kiss when my pocket vibrated. Reluctantly I pushed him away and answered it, knowing who it would be.

"I don't feel like beeping the horn and getting yelled at by your neighbors, so get your asses down here!" Jasper growled into the phone.

"Sure. In a minute..." I hung up on him before he could say more. He didn't appear to be in a good mood today. Then again, he hadn't been in a good mood ever since he found out we were moving.

All the way back to England. Where L and Near where at Wammys. Really, even if all the evidence had pointed elsewhere, we should have known that was where they were hiding. And now that was where Matt and I were going.

If everything went according to plan.

"Come on Matt, get off. Jasper's here." I saw the look in his eyes and rolled mine. "You can _jerk_ off later, just get off of me now." he laughed but complied anyway. He pulled me to my feet and let go in order to grab his carry on, leaving me with his suitcase.

I sighed.

He really wasn't happy with leaving me by myself. And I understood why. I tended to get into trouble. I smirked at the all too true statement and began to lug the heavy suitcase to the living room.

"I'm ready.." he stated. I nodded and followed him out the door and down to the car where Jasper was waiting.

I tossed the suitcase into the backseat and slammed the door much to Jasper's annoyance. Really, all the people I knew were so moody as of late...

"See you Mello..." I blinked and looked at Matt for half a second before grabbing him. "You're not leaving without properly saying goodbye." I stated to his raised eyebrows. For some reason, when I kissed him this time, I just couldn't put force behind it and the kiss ended up tender.

"Love you." I whispered against his lips. His eyes lit up and he smiled at me. If all went well, I would be seeing that smile in just over a week's time. If not it might be a little longer...

"Love you too. I'm not sure what caused this, but I like you being all affectionate." he squeezed me once, tightly, before Jasper got too irritated and honked the horn; and he had been right, a few people did shout at him.

"Hurry up, you are going to miss your damn flight otherwise." Jasper growled. I laughed and gave Matt another quick kiss with him looking at me questioningly as I shooed him off to the car.

"Call me when you land and when you get _there_, ok?" Matt nodded and after a few moments Jasper drove off.

Now it was time for my part.

Pulling out my phone I called the client.

"Hello, its detective Keen. I was wondering if I would be able to look at your company's records tomorrow." I asked politely, far more politely that I felt he had a right to be talked to.

"Oh of course-" The man on the other line seemed delighted to help, though the voice was different than I had heard before. That meant he would be the one I would meet tomorrow, rather than the 'assistant'.

I rolled my eyes, naturally he was ecstatic. He thought I was going to be walking right into their trap. But I wasn't a fucking genius for nothing. I had easily found out that the company was a fake, something most detectives wouldn't have found considering how deep I had to dig.

The building itself was there, and there _was_ a small company there of the same name, but the person I was speaking with was not the CEO of that place or even a member. Well he _was_ a member of the Organization if that counted for anything.

Had the police been involved they would have had a harder time hiding the fact that the actual company had no need for their services, but they weren't after anyone in the police just yet.

"Alright, my partner and I will see you at ten o'clock tomorrow." for this case I had convinced Matt to act as my partner the moment I had discerned their true motives. And if they thought the both of us were going there tomorrow then they wouldn't bother to check and see if he were actually with me at the moment.

It wasn't the best of plans. Not by a long shot. But if I could buy enough time for Matt to get to England and to Wammys where it was safe, then it worked for me. After that I would be heading to Wammys on my own; once I was sure I wasn't being followed.

I shivered in the cold and made my way back into the empty apartment. Shutting the door and locking it I flopped onto the small living room chair. Thinking back to just the month prior I sighed.

Just a month ago Matt's life had been in danger. And now both of ours were again. If only I had taken Matt's advice and not taken this last case... but then we might be dead already. But one could not live thinking of _what if's _they wanted to stay sane.

There had been something odd about the case to start with, something hadn't added up. Or maybe I was finally getting too paranoid because of everything that had gone on. Whatever it was had made me dig deeper into the case before I actually took it.

I'd had to do another favor for Takahashi, but thankfully it was only taking his daughter shopping and to a movie. I'm fairly certain she had been bugging him about me again, despite me being in a relationship though I had never told them with whom.

It appears that despite the Organization having their key members knocked off, they weren't floundering as much as we had hoped. They were making mistakes now, but not the huge ones we needed to get to them.

They did know about Wammys and L's connection to it. But they didn't know where either of them were. They did however; know where two of L's successors were. Matt and I. We were the perfect sitting ducks.

And I had given the Organization just enough time to cause some trouble for us if we were to leave. The only way to get out was to play their game, and so I had taken on their fake case. And in turn I had to send Matt away without his knowledge of the real reason.

I grinned, when he found out what I did he wasn't going to be happy. Pissed was probably a better word to describe it.

But this time I wasn't selling myself or killing anyone so I supposed it at least evened out a little in my favor... and not even Jasper knew so he couldn't tell Matt.

However, I wasn't alone in this.

L knew.

And _slightly _agreed with me. He would have preferred for me not to take such a risk but understood why I needed to do so. We couldn't even involve the police in this due to their reluctance to fully submit to L's commands, which would only lead to them fucking something up and getting me killed.

It was understood that if I did this I would keep in contact with L and if I didn't contact him at least once every twenty-four hours, it would be assumed something had gone wrong and for him to track me down.

L was also worried about all the attention the Organization seemed to be placing on him and Wammys. He figured it was because of his reputation as the greatest detective, or rather the three greatest detectives, though the latter wasn't known to many.

If L was taken out of the picture, what hope did the rest of the detectives have in ending the Detective Purge? It boiled down to the simple fact that if L was gone, justice was gone.

Of all the cases to _have_ to be involved in, it had to be this one. I pulled out a chocolate bar and bit into it. There was nothing much we could do about our involvement though, even if we wanted out, we couldn't simply because we are detectives.

The Detective Purge was nearing the two year mark so I knew the Organization, now leaderless, was going to do something drastic sometime soon. They would have to step it up a notch if they wanted to continue.

They would also have to get new people to do the killings, and new people meant getting new information, figuring out new patterns and hoping for new mistakes.

There would always be a mistake, that much was certain, it was finding it that was the hard part.

Sighing I lifted myself off the couch and trudged into the kitchen and took a look around. "Where did he put the coffee?" I mumbled irritably. We had everything we wanted packed and sent off to England already, and were down to the bare minimum.

Two plates, two glasses, two ceramic mugs, two sets of silverware. And instant coffee since the coffeemaker had already been shipped off. The problem, was finding any of those items. What was left over was in complete organizational nightmare.

One day you would find a coffee mug in the cabinet where it was supposed to be and the next it magically ended up under the bed. God knows how.

Finding one in the sink I rinsed it before filling it to the brim and letting a package of instant coffee sit in the cool water. Setting it in the microwave I set it to 3 minutes and went to pack.

I couldn't do so when Matt was here because I wasn't supposed to be leaving for a few days and he would have known something was up. I didn't _exactly_ wait until last minute with those things, but I was never quite sure what I would need so I left packing until the end.

I was leaving whatever I couldn't fit into a duffel bag here. L suggested that I just buy new stuff over in England and I had agreed, whatever hadn't already been shipped over, would be left.

My laptop would have been included in that if I hadn't slipped it into Matt's suitcase before he left. I couldn't take the chance of having it on me and getting captured, it had far too much data on it for them to play with should they get a hold of it.

It took me a rather quick time to stuff my chosen clothes into the bag and I stared despairingly at what was left in the closet. Sighing I shut the doors. Out of sight out of mind. I added a few other things to the remaining space, such as sunglasses.

I also made sure I had my fake ID and passport and that everything was in order with them. I had gotten them a few days prior thanks to Jasper; he did it for free, sort of a going away gift I suppose?

I felt kind of bad, leaving him here after all this shit has gone down, but we really weren't safe anymore. We had only been playing pretend before and should have realized it was going to bite us in the ass sooner or later. Wammys was the safest place for us to be at the moment.

Which is why Matt was headed there now and I would be joining him later.

The microwave beeped and I tore open a chocolate bar and added it to the bitter instant brew. I really shouldn't have been drinking coffee, despite how early in the evening it was, for the simple fact that I had wanted to go to sleep early. I knew that once Matt called I probably wouldn't be able so go back to sleep afterwards.

And the flight would only take around eight hours, granted with all of the security checks he'd had to get there much earlier, so in about nine hours he'd call. It was only seven-thirty now.

There was nothing to do and I found myself restless, as well as sleepless. Digging through things that hadn't been packed I came across a book that Jasper had been trying to get me to read for the last few months. I had given it to Matt and told him to throw it out so I could honestly tell Jasper _I _hadn't done it. He always seemed to think I would get rid of it...

Obviously Matt hadn't listened to me, and now I had something to pass the time. Funny how things like that went.

I brought my things into the bedroom, after shutting off all other lights, and curled up under the blankets with the book and coffee. The book was some murder mystery but was simple plot wise. By the end of the second chapter, where all the main characters had been introduced, I had figured out who the killer was and pretty much the plot outline for the rest two hundred or so pages.

I finished the book sometime after eleven.

I yawned and shut the cover with a dissatisfied sigh and brought both back to the kitchen. "If this person can write a book maybe I should..." if any of the Wammy kids decided to, we could probably make a lot of money off of it.

I thought of Matt writing a book and snorted. _The do's and don'ts of hacking the CIA_. Or _How to Survive a Death Sentence from a Criminal Organization_. Yes, I could see it now...

If I was having weird thoughts like this it was time to go to bed, whether I felt tired or not. I did nothing more than rinse the cup with water and leave it on the counter for morning. What was the use in washing it properly when I would be using it in a few hours?

Though I turned the bedroom light off it took me a while to fall asleep. And once I did it felt like only minutes later when my phone was going off. Blinking back the sleep I reached across the bed and flipped it open.

"Hello?" I rolled over and threw the covers back over my head while holding the phone close to my ear; it was fucking _cold _in the apartment.

"Hey. I just landed." my mind was instantly awake at hearing Matt's voice.

"How did everything go?" I peeked out from the blankets to glance at the clock. Five-thirty? Matt should have landed almost and hour ago.

"Flight was late, airports suck." he sounded tired and annoyed, and he was probably craving a cigarette badly.

"We'll I'm at least happy you landed safely, flight irritants excluded." I could hear him laugh. It was a soft breath one he only did when he was tired or had just woken up. "Just think, in a few more days I get to do the same."

"But you won't have those two children from hell on your flight." I choked back a laugh knowing Matt wouldn't appreciate it. Matt didn't like young children... at all. He couldn't stand them actually. If nothing else could get him to break his calm demeanor, children could. It was actually rather amusing to watch.

"Oh, there's Watari..." I heard him whisper. I yawned silently and rubbed at my eyes.

"I should probably go then. I'll call you later..." he sounded reluctant and I felt bad. I should have been with him instead of here...

"I'll be waiting for it then. Bye." he hung up as soon as I said that but I wasn't irritated at the lack of a goodbye. That's just how Matt was sometimes. Five-thirty... fuck it. I clutched the phone in my hand and attempted to go back to sleep.

I managed to doze off, more awake than asleep for the better part of an hour before I could no longer force my body to stay relaxed. Shaking the sleep from my head I shoved the blankets off and quickly dressed in the cold bedroom.

Coffee was the next thing on the agenda and I was more than a little sick of the instant shit I was forced to drink. I was half tempted to just go out in the cold and get a cup from the cafe down the street. But that required going out in the cold... and I really didn't want to before I _had _to. The apartment was bad enough.

I had just over three hours before I needed to be at the meeting, and nothing more for me to do. Well nothing _productive _at any rate.

I'd been thinking of re-reading the book from last night and completely picking it apart, finding all the flaws and reasons why the book was bad, and giving it back to Jasper with everything written in the margins.

It was utterly pointless and unnecessary, but it would kill time. And for once, I had too much of it at the moment.

Pulling my jacket on to get ride of the chill I sat at the kitchen table with the book, a pen and my coffee.

I was completely immersed in explaining why Kevin_ couldn't _have committed the murders, using the authors own words against them, that I almost missed Matt's next phone call.

"Hey, don't hang up." I picked up on the sixth ring and heard a sigh on the other end, the kind where Matt is disappointed at something but is giving up for the moment. It doesn't happen too often but when it does he usually leaves whatever it is alone for the next eight hours or so.

I didn't want to wait eight hours to talk to him.

"What were you doing? I almost hung up." he yawned a little around his words. He was probably exhausted. "Creatively bashing that book Jasper has wanted me to read since... whenever he gave that to me. And I though I asked you to throw that out?" he laughed a little and I heard a soft zip and something being tossed across the room. Probably his jacket.

"You only wanted me to get rid of it so Jasper couldn't yell at you when he found out his book had oh so conveniently disappeared before you could read it." I grinned. He knew me too well.

"How did you even know it was his?" of all the things to be talking about...

"He let me know you were borrowing it." I snorted. That was just like Jasper. Bastard knew I didn't want to read it and made sure I couldn't get rid of it.

I glanced at the clock and groaned, it was only around seven fifteen. I still had around two hours before I could even leave the apartment.

"What's wrong?" his voice was slightly muffled and the phone seemed to be moved around, meaning he was either changing his shirt or simply taking it off.

"Nothing, just bored."

"How can you be bored? Go do something on the internet, bug Jasper." heh, use the internet? I would if I still had my laptop on me, I thought morosely. Well on the bright side, if Matt was saying that it meant he hadn't gone through his things yet.

"Yes because Jasper would be all too happy with that at the moment, or have you forgotten just how _unhappy _he is with us at the moment?" I wouldn't call him angry or pissed off. Just... unhappy.

"Well then go back to that book. I'm out of ideas." Matt yawned again and I knew it was time for me to end the call.

"Alright you need sleep, so I'm going to let you go. I won't be able to talk today anyway since I'll be busy with my case, but I will call you later ok?"

"That's fine, I'm surprised you lasted this long, I know you hate talking on phones. I swear it must be something you caught from Wammys because none of us like talking on these."

"Except you, because you are strange." I could practically see him rolling his eyes and flipping me off.

"Love you too Mello." he stated sarcastically.

"Just go to bed, unless you are already there. In which case feel free to entertain me." he laughed again and mumbled a goodbye before hanging up on me. I shrugged a shoulder, couldn't hurt to try right?

I quickly set a few alarm timers to go off when I needed to leave.

I looked at the clock again and sighed. I had only killed ten minutes. Resisting the urge to bang my head on the countertop I went back to the book, seeing as I didn't have internet and didn't want to talk on the phone, it was my only option.

Other than going out in the cold, getting coffee and being bored in the coffee shop.

Back to the book it was.

Finally, at around nine seventeen, the first alarm went off. I had been forced to stop mid thought again but shrugged it off. I didn't really care to finish my thoughts on the book anyway.

I smirked when I thought of how Jasper would find this. I had left a little note attached to the top telling him my thoughts were _in _the book. He would be pissed.

Jasper was going to be coming around the apartment to clean up a few more things, and take anything that was left behind if he wanted it. There wasn't much but he might find something useful.

He liked the strangest of things....

I went into the bedroom and grabbed hold of the duffle bag, found my keys and walked out the door. There was no need to lock it since everything important was gone. I carefully strapped the duffle bag in place on the back of my motorcycle before swinging a leg over and starting the engine.

I already knew my way there from my previous visit, so I knew that by leaving at this time I would be a little late. I would arrive at around five after ten. But I shouldn't know how to get there. One of the streets leading there doesn't' have a sign any more and it is fairly easy to get turned around and lose your way... as I had found out.

So being a little late was good.

I arrived six minutes late. Parking my bike out of sight of the main doors I walked around and took my time getting inside. As I walked in I noticed the receptionist glancing irritably at a man as he walked around a support pillar and out of her sight.

The moment he caught sight of me he smirked. "Oh, there you are Mr. Keen."

I smiled back politely. "Were you waiting long?" I noted his reluctance to be back in eyesight of the receptionist so I slowed my pace even further forcing him to either move and greet me, or appear rude. Which someone of his _supposed _stature wouldn't do.

"I'm Mr. Krushaw, it's nice to finally meet you." I shook his outstretched hand and began to follow him as he slowly made steps towards the front door. Yes, it was supposed to be the first time he's actually met me as I had been meeting with his assistant; though I had no doubt he had already memorized my face.

"I thought we might go out for lunch to discuss the case, and what you have found so far." I nodded to him. This was what I had expected; he had to get me out of the building and away from any of the actual personnel there. But I couldn't make it _that_ easy for him.

"What about the records, I'd really like to see them before it gets too late." the man's grin widened.

"Oh don't worry about that, I took the hard copies with me, they are right in my briefcase. You can look them over during lunch." I gave him a small smile of my own; he was pushing the lunch issue. Not very subtle about it either. I wondered what his reaction would be if I said no...

But I wouldn't.

"That sounds fine. How about a coffee shop though? I know this great place off of Rhodes Avenue, they serve a nice brunch too." I said conversationally as we began to exit the building, rather hurriedly in his case, just as I saw security out of the corner of my eye.

"Yes, that sounds agreeable."

They were messing up; he must have been wandering around here too long waiting for me. It was laughable really. It made me wonder how far down the food chain this guy was in the Organization.

"What about your partner, I thought he was coming today?" I held back a snort, it took him this long to notice his absence?

"Oh, he called me earlier and said he was stuck in traffic. I'll just text him and tell him to meet us there." I pulled out my phone and actually sent a message to L telling him what was going on.

"All set. Shall we head out then, we don't want to get caught in the lunch rush?" I tilted my head to the side and gave a small, hopefully convincing, smile.

"We'll take my car-"

"Actually I would like to just take my own, that way when the meeting is done you don't have to cart me all the way back here. Is that going to be a problem?" I made it so he couldn't say no without a good excuse, which I doubted he could come up with, at least not a believable one.

"No, no that's quite alright. You are doing us a favor, and I suppose it doesn't matter how we get there." he was starting to flounder. Things weren't going quite according to plan and he was beginning to panic.

"In case we get separated, here are the directions to the coffee shop-" the coffee shop was real and was just over fifteen minutes away, but I didn't actually plan to go there. It was merely a ploy to get them off my trail for a few minutes, minutes in which I could disappear and use to get on my flight out of here.

If everything went right and the other people watching, there was no way they weren't, focused on his vehicle instead of mine, since I was supposed to be getting in, I would be given a head start on my escape.

If things went wrong and they did still watch me, well, it would be a very short ride and I wouldn't need to worry about catching my flight.

I wasn't going directly to England either, I was taking a few detours. Heading to another part of the states before going to Germany and then England. Hopefully enough to lead them astray.

"See you in a few than." I waved to the man before heading to my motorcycle, which was parked out of view. He was supposed to be parked in the employee lot so he was forced to go the opposite direction, though I wasn't sure how he would have explained being elsewhere.

I rushed out of my parking space and accelerated passed the speed limit the moment I had the chance.

I had approximately seventeen minutes before he would call wondering where I was, and after explaining that I would be a little late due to a traffic accident another ten to fifteen before he either figured I wasn't coming or called again in which I would say I was only a few minutes away.

I just had to make it to the airport and get to my flight, in a nice crowded area where I hoped they wouldn't dare go after me.

It would take me just under fifty minutes to get to the airport. At normal speed. At _my_ speed, just over a half hour, provided I didn't crash. I wouldn't get pulled over because I'd actually have to _stop_ for that to happen.

I had tugged my helmet on rather quickly so it was left at a slightly awkward angle that I would have to fix at the next red light, I figured I could stop at one of them at least, but it at least kept my hair from blowing around too much.

My phone vibrated and rang from my pocket and I slowed down to answer it, already knowing who it would be.

"Somehow I seemed to have arrived before you, will you be long?" his tone was nervous, he was doing a horrible job of keeping character.

"I'm stuck in traffic at the moment, there was an accident and everything is backed up. But they are cleaning things up quickly so I'll be about ten minutes or so I'd say. Just sit down and order without me, sorry about all of this." I doubted this guy would be able to tell that I was still driving as I had slowed down to stop at the next light.

"Oh that's perfectly alright. I suppose I'll see you soon." I ended the call, fixed my helmet and sped off again with my phone safely stored back in my pocket.

He had called a little later than I had thought, almost twenty minutes to the seventeen I had guessed. This gave me more time to get to the airport, but I was by no means slowing down. Once in the airport I knew L would be watching through the security feeds so I would have extra protection, or at least he would be able to react quickly if things went wrong, at least I hoped.

Eleven minutes later I was sprinting into the airport after having ditched my bike, I could buy a new one later on, and I wasn't about to go into the deserted parking garages. Call me paranoid but I'd like to get to my flight.

Two minutes later my phone rang again.

"I'm almost there, they just finished clearing the accident. So give me five minutes, then we can go over the case." a few people were looking at me oddly, and it was probably because of the leather. It wasn't like I had time to change, or anything else to change into...

I shoved my phone back into my jacket pocket and quickly entered the line for boarding passes.

I hadn't been able to print mine since we didn't have a printer and my nerves were high as I waited impatiently to get it. I was losing time here but would make it up at security. Thankfully I only had my small carry on duffle bag. And since there was nothing but clothes in it I wouldn't be stopped, or my bag checked for very long.

"Next." came the bland voice. I immediately walked over to the older woman with the name tag that read 'Rita'. I handed her my fake ID and she looked up the information after checking the picture.

"Do you have any bags you need to check in?" I shook my head.

She printed the ticket after a minute or so and handed it as well as the ID over to me. "Here you go Mark." she said that in a way that stated I didn't look like a Mark. Well I _wasn't_ so I suppose she was correct.

Glancing at the ticket I memorized the gate number. B6. Turning left away from the counter I headed toward the B area for flights.

The line for security was long, but it could have been worse considering the time of day. The only problem was if the Organization had anyone working here and they were informed about me, it could potentially pose a problem. Though the odds of that were slim.

All around me were tired and bored looking people clutching luggage in one hand and boarding passes in the other. Men and women in their neat business suits glanced irritably at their watches while the elderly sighed at the disrespectful youth. Children giggled excitedly and parents sipped at expensive coffees whilst mostly ignoring their brood until it came time to move again.

I hated airports.

But then again, who actually_ liked _them?

I glanced at my phone again and sighed. It was nearly eleven already, thankfully my flight left a little after twelve. But that made boarding at around eleven thirty.

While I had my phone out I idly remembered I needed to tell L I was at the airport. He was probably watching me do this, but I needed to make sure in case he was doing something else and forgot. Highly unlikely, but still possible.

The line moved again, quickly as five people were let through almost immediately and I was nearing my turn. I pulled the necessary things from my pocket and added them to sit with my boarding pass.

I glanced boredly at the metal detectors and was happy I hadn't brought my gun. I had left that with my motorcycle. Or rather _near_ the motorcycle.

Another ten minutes and my ID was being checked, a little too long for my liking, and I was being sent on ahead. So far nothing had happened, and I doubted my clothes were going to set off any warning signs when they looked at it.

And I had been right. After replacing everything back into my jacket pocket and putting my boots back on, I grabbed my bag and headed off to B terminal, which was to the left.

I could see my gate from where I was, but I wanted a coffee first. And maybe a muffin or something. I still couldn't eat as much as I used to, but I was _slowly _getting back to a more manageable level.

I spotted a Starbucks and decided that would be alright to drink. Though their coffee tended to be a little too strong at times. Nothing a few chocolate bars couldn't fix. As I ordered I spotted a blueberry streusel muffin and added it to my order.

I shook my head at the total, which was really completely ridiculous, and shelled out some cash. Taking my purchases I moved over to an unoccupied table and let my bag slip to the floor beside me.

I unzipped a small inside compartment and pulled out a few chocolate bars, unwrapped them, and added them into the coffee. Taking a small experimental sip I deemed it drinkable. Leaving the lid off I picked absently at the muffin until it was nearing my boarding time.

I had eaten roughly half of the giant muffin and drank only a third of my coffee. The muffin went into the trash but the coffee came with me. I was walking passed the stores threshold, which really consisted of no more than a line on the floor, when someone bumped into me making coffee slosh from the cup and onto my leather vest.

"Oh sorry!" the man looked apologetic but left just as quickly. I closed my eyes and sighed heavily. I had a quick bathroom break before the flight it seemed.

I walked right instead of left and headed into the men's bathroom. Setting the coffee on the sink and the bag on the floor I began pulling out those cheap bathroom paper towels and wetting them. Honestly some people really pissed me off.

Carefully cleaning my vest I vaguely noticed the absolute silence of the bathrooms that were usually crawling with people. Yes, because everyone else was getting to their flight while I was getting coffee off myself.

A man walked behind me and I only had a second to recognize him as the man that bumped into me before he shoved me into the wall, pinning me.

I struggled against the cloth that was placed over my nose and mouth and as my senses began to waver and fail, I noted how I was _really_ starting to _hate _chloroform.

-**End **_**Subsist**_-

**AN**: I bet you didn't expect this yet did you. And look, I started with mass cliffy's again! Muwhahaha! So what does everyone think of this so far, honestly? So far, this is my favorite of the series, and last of the series with the exception of any oneshots I do for it. Ha I can call it a trilogy! (*everyone rolls eyes*)

Actually… if anyone has an idea about a oneshot for the universe of WSF, NAA and JNRR, tell me and I'll attempt it if I can. I make no promises since I do wt my muse tells me to….

Also, if some things don't make sense, like it looks like the sentence is missing a word, it probably is. My OpenOffice (which I use when I'm on my other pc) tends to be evil and deletes random words (or entirely corrupts the document). I think I got it all but….

DON'T forget my new poll.

**Special thanks to my reviewers**: merichuel, cy-grl, Misha2011, I Hope U Hear My Silent Scream, Maykitty, CaramelColoredDreams, Salvi


	3. Chapter 2: Presage

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note, k?

**AN**: T^T my hands hurt...... 6,500+ words.... and I had thought Matt's chapter would be smaller....

**Suggested Listening**: Carry on Dancing (savage garden cover) **by ; **Day Late **by **Anberlin

**Chapter Two**: _Presage _

~Matt~

"Do you have everything?" Mello questioned me and I looked up. What, trying to push me out the door already?

"Yeah, but I don't see why I can't just stay here with you until you're done." I grumbled unhappily as I shoved one last pack of cigarettes into my already stuffed jacket. He sighed and walked around the edge of the bed and pulled me into a hug. He knew I hated to fly, and now I was going without him.

It wasn't that I didn't trust him, I just didn't want to leave him at the moment. I mean, we'd hardly had a month to ourselves after the last fiasco and now we're heading right back into it. And naturally Mello decides to take one last case before we leave. Or rather before_ I_ left.

Actually, what was he going to tell them about me now that I wasn't there anymore? I was acting as his partner. Oh well. Serves him right.

"I'll miss you too. You and your unhealthy habit." I snorted and began to fiddle with an unlit cigarette. "You know L has far better resources and could use the help. I won't be more than a few days." He told me. Yeah a few days without him and being stuck with L and Near.

Not that I really minded them... I would just prefer some _conversation_.

He was staring at me so I grinned and kissed him. I was surprised at how he let me have my way, but decided not to question it. It left us both gasping, and I wasn't sure about him, but it was hardly enough. "You know we can't do anything now. You have to leave in a few minutes." I shrugged a shoulder and bit his lip.

I maneuvered us backwards and was more than happy when he didn't fight. Pushing Mello onto the bed I crawled atop him and smirked when he wrapped his arms around me. I began to slowly kiss my way down his jaw, completely intending to at least leave some marks.

He pulled my lips to his and I grinned. Let's see how far he lets me go...

My fingers had just gotten his belt undone, his fingers threaded in my hair, when his phone rang. He groaned and pulled away to answer it. I think we both knew who it was. Why couldn't I have had a flight tomorrow? Or a few days from now?

I couldn't hear what Jasper was saying, but from the face Mello was making he wasn't happy. Which seemed to be his default setting now...

Well only because we were moving back to England, otherwise I had a feeling he wouldn't be acting like this. He was Mello's friend despite the fact they would never admit it. At least not out loud.

L and Near where at Wammys, the one place we had ruled because there was no evidence to support it.

"Sure. In a minute..." Mello ended the call with a barely audible sigh.

"Come on Matt, get off. Jasper's here." I'd like to get off... Naturally I must have let something slip with my expression because Mello rolled his eyes at me. "You can _jerk_ off later, just get off of me now." I laughed but complied anyway. I pulled him to his feet and let go of him to grab my carryon. That left Mello with my suitcase. My nice and heavy suitcase. Pwnt.

"I'm ready.." I didn't bother waiting for Mello's reply, if there was one, and walked out of the apartment for the last time. I had never really liked that place anyway...

Jasper was waiting curbside almost like he was delivering a pizza to us. Hm... pizza actually sounded good. I shook my head. I should have slept more last night if my thoughts were drifting this badly.

I carefully placed my carryon behind the passenger seat and watched as Mello struggled over to us. Heh.

He managed to toss the suitcase into the backseat and slam the door; though I did see Jasper give him a rather unpleased glare to that. Really, one would think Mello had killed his cat or something...

Well, lets get this show on the road. The quicker I leave the quicker the both of us will be at Wammys.

"See you Mello..." I had only just turned away before he grabbed me. "You're not leaving without properly saying goodbye." I raised an eyebrow at him, which he ignored in favor of kissing me. I had been expecting something fierce, like a taunting 'this is what you could have had if you weren't going to a crowded airport full of irritating people' type of kiss.

But I was pleasantly surprised with how gentle he was being. I had always wanted him to relax a bit more...

"Love you." he whispered against my lips as we pulled away. I smiled. I would never get tired of him saying that. Not after how long it took me to get him to say it.

"Love you too. I'm not sure what caused this, but I like you being all affectionate." I squeezed him once, tightly, before Jasper got too irritated and honked the horn. I rolled my eyes at the few people that shouted at him.

Really, they can ignore gunshots but car horns piss them off? Their priorities were a little messed up.

"Hurry up, you are going to miss your damn flight otherwise." Mello laughed and gave me another quick kiss. I looked at him questioningly. Not that I didn't mind all the attention, but he was making this feel too much like a goodbye.

A final one.

He shooed me off into the car but called out before Jasper could pull away. "Call me when you land and when you get _there_, ok?" I nodded and Jasper drove off after muttering a few things I didn't quite catch.

I almost asked him to stop and go back a couple of times. I don't know why, but I had a... not necessarily a _bad_ feeling, just a feeling that _something _was going to happen. But it was enough to bother me.

I sat the entire ride in uncomfortable silence, not even the radio was on. What was only supposed to take around thirty minutes or so seemed to take hours. Jasper certainly wasn't making anything easy.

I was almost relieved when I saw the bright lights of the airport, at least until I remembered _why _I didn't like airports. He stopped at the designated drop off point and retrieved my suitcase from the backseat as I strapped on my carryon, which held my laptop.

He stood awkwardly by me for a few seconds before getting back into his car. I expected him to drive off right then but he rolled down the window, looking uncomfortable. "Take care, alright?" I blinked and nodded to him.

Without so much as another word he drove off and I was left alone. I shook my head with a smile. If Jasper acted this weird when I was leaving, I didn't even want to think about what it will be like when Mello does.

Jasper wasn't half bad. At least when he wasn't making a pain in the ass out of himself or calling me J. Mello certainly chose some strange people to make friends with.

A drugged out hacker, the world's greatest detective and an ex-mafia member. Well the first two really weren't his fault so much as Wammys.

I sighed and took hold of my suitcase, which I swear felt heavier than it should have, and headed inside. I probably should have smoked once more before hand but I knew I was cutting my flight close as it was.

The ticket line wasn't as bad as I had expected for all those getting boarding passes, and the line moved along quickly. I gave my new fake ID to the woman and waited for my things to print. I could no longer go by my old alias, not since I had been discovered by the Organization as J. If they could figure it out then it was assumed that others could as well.

This time I was going by Jacob Shaw, though I didn't particularly like that name. I checked in my suitcase, since it most definitely couldn't be defined as a carryon. Once that was done I headed off to security and the _C_ terminal.

During the security check, I was stopped because they thought I had a screwdriver in my bag. Honestly why the hell would I bring a screwdriver on the plane? Or stick it somewhere so obvious?

After it was discovered that I didn't possess the idiocy to bring a screwdriver, I was allowed to retrieve my bag and continue on into the C terminal. My gate was listed as C10 and my boarding time was in about six minutes.

Just enough time to buy something for the long ride. I went into one of the numerous little stores that was positioned around and went in search of a few things. One was gum. Because if I couldn't smoke I would need something to ease the craving. And I'd also heard that chewing gum helped with popping your ears...

I hadn't tried that the last time I was on a plane... and perhaps that was why my head felt like it was about to implode for the next three days afterwards.

I grabbed around six packs of gum, whilst getting odd looks from the other customers. I rolled my eyes once out of their immediate sight. Inwardly amused, I went in search of some snacks. Because airplane food sucks. _If_ they give you any.

I grabbed whatever looked appetizing, and didn't contain fish or fruit. Though I didn't mind the trail mix as it had more M&M's, crackers and peanuts than fruit. Dried out fruit was just..._wrong_.

I also grabbed a bottle of water. Soda on a plane just tasted odd, fizzy yet flat. And I wasn't about to get drunk just because I could. Though it was tempting, the flight would go a lot quicker...

With all of that picked out, and no one in line, I dumped everything on the counter and smiled at the _look_ the cashier gave me. Yes, this was why I hated airports.

"That will be $35.67. And you get a free bag of goldfish with your purchase of water." Another reason not to like airports. The ridiculous prices. I handed the woman a fifty and she asked if I wanted a bag while she handed me my change.

I glanced at the _pile_ of things on the table and, though I was tempted to say no just _because,_ I nodded.

With my new plastic bag full of goodies I went over to gate C10, which should have been boarding, only to see that it was delayed. And would be delayed for another forty-five minutes. Great.

Turning on heal I went in search of coffee. I found a Starbucks across from an ice cream shop and ordered a Grande breakfast blend with cream. Or in other words, a large coffee with cream. Why they could just have small, medium and large I didn't know.

Paying nearly seven bucks for a coffee, that even by my standards, tasted a bit like drinking battery acid, I sighed. Why couldn't Mello have come with me and ditched his case?

Sitting down by my gate I frowned when a family of three sat across from me. It was made up of a tired looking father and two young girls. Emphasis on young. Trouble making age young. It wasn't that I hated children... exactly. I just disliked them... a lot.

They were noisy, germ infested and sucked away all of your cash, attention and gave you headaches. What's to like?

That was completely ignoring the fact that both Mello and I were once children. Because we _certainly_ hadn't been any of those things. I sipped my coffee and mused that Mello, was _still_ noisy. Took all of my attention and gave me headaches.

But Mello wasn't a child. Thankfully.

I tensed as the younger of the two girls, a short curly haired thing, came walking over to me. She couldn't have been more than three. "Amanda get back here, please." her father called. Instead, she came even closer and was staring at me curiously.

Her sister came over and grabbed her before she could climb into the seat next to me, though she was smiling widely and giggling at me. It was unnerving. "Jacquelyn, bring your sister over here." the man was smiling apologetically at me but I couldn't force myself to smile back.

I wasn't a people person most of the time, and was even worse when it came to children. I just didn't get along well with them, and yet _all_ of them seemed fascinated by me. Another reason I avoided them like the plague if I could.

Thankfully I was first class so I probably wouldn't be seeing them once on the plane. The main reason I chose first class was that I wasn't spending eight hours in a cramped seat next to two other strangers. It just wasn't going to happen. Oh the joys of having money to spend.

The rest of the fifty minutes, because it took extra time to unload the plane and refuel, was spent in much the same way; Meaning that the two girls kept bothering me _while_ their father yelled at them from his seat. Only with the special additive of me wanting a cigarette. Badly.

I checked the time on my phone and sighed as they called for first class, just after calling for families with small children and people who needed assistance. Mello would still be up, but I couldn't call him now. I should have thought of that earlier, it would have passed the time.

Everyone was all smiles and 'Have a good flight, sir' as I walked onto the plane. Yes, have a great eight hours of no cigarette hell- _no_. I stared in silent horror at the family of three who were in first class, and a row in front of me.

I inwardly groaned. This was punishment for something, I was sure. My seat was the window seat, which was right behind one of the girls, her sister next to her.

The two girls had noticed me and were peering, not even the least bit discreetly, over the seat tops at me. "Sit down you two." the father called gently.

Instead of putting one of my bags in the overhead compartment like suggested, I stuffed the plastic bag in with my laptop. Though I did take the water out and put it in the pocket of the seat in front of me.

Water and electronics don't mix well. _Fact._

"Alright everyone, we are about to begin take off so-" I tuned out the rest of the captains speech as it was mostly unimportant things such as to have our seatbelts secured and to wait until the fasten seatbelt sigh was off before moving around the cabin.

I was thankful that I ended up not having anyone else in my row, meaning I had lots of free space.

I also ignored the demonstrations about the oxygen masks and flotation devices. If we crashed, I doubted there would be enough pieces of us left to use those items. I may be just the slightest bit pessimistic about those things though.

I quickly took out a pack of gum and began to chew a few pieces as the plane took off. I was probably chewing rather obnoxiously but found that I didn't particularly care. If it helped my head not explode then I'd do it for the rest of the flight if I had too. Granted my head wouldn't actually explode... but considering how bad it had been last time, it might as well have.

After a few more bumpy minutes the plane began to level out. It took a little while longer before the _ding _and '_You are now free to move about the cabin_' sounded off just like in commercials.

I took that time to unpack my laptop and turn it on. Pulling the tray table down I set the laptop down. I didn't have anything important to do so I pulled up my music files and set a playlist. Placing my ear buds in I opened a game of spider solitaire. It was time to see if I could beat my old records.

I glanced up when I felt someone watching me. I was greeted with two pairs of brown eyes gazing at me; one from in-between the seat gap and the other over the seat. I frowned a little. What was so special about me that they felt the need to bother me, because the_ staring _was bothering me.

I went back to my game, deciding that I would probably lose a staring contest with them, and only make them more intrigued in the process. A while later my laptop was jerked when the tray table began to fold inwards.

Looking up I noticed the girls giggling, or at least it looked that way, and trying to recline the chair. I pulled one ear bud out as the father noticed me.

"Girls you cant do that, he is working on something." I almost snorted. I guess you could say I was working on something, if you counted solitaire as work. Which I didn't. But he didn't know that.

The girls did it again anyway and almost knocked my laptop to the floor had I not caught it in time. "I'm so sorry! Girls sit down now and stop that." but even as he said that his resolve seemed to fade as they giggled and tried to do it again.

"It's fine." because I'm closing the laptop now. I put it on the seat next to me, music still going and closed my eyes after I secured the tray table again.

I must have dozed off because I was woken up by a rather obnoxious flight attendant telling me I needed to turn my laptop off for the moment. With a sigh I complied and powered it down. I was sure the little demons would immediately pounce on the chance to annoy me but was pleasantly surprised to find them both sleeping when I looked closely enough.

I almost sighed in relief. At least for now I didn't have to deal with them. What I did have to deal with however, was my craving for food and a cigarette. One could be remedied easily enough, the other, not so much.

Quietly I rifled through the plastic bag and pulled out the trail mix. Carefully opening the tray table I used it to sort through the bag and pick out the fruit. It almost seemed pointless with how much fruit was in it, but it kept my mind occupied, at least until the fruit was gone.

I then proceeded to eat handfuls of the pretzel like crackers, M&M's and peanuts. It wasn't anywhere near satisfying so I opened a prepackaged cake like thing I had bought earlier. It was apparently a cinnamon streusel sponge cake.

It tasted more like cardboard.

One would think that, with me mindlessly eating away at my stash of snacks, that time would pass quickly. But it didn't. In fact, it seemed to slow down.

I allowed my fingers to tap impatiently against the armrest irritably. There was still another hour and a half left of the flight. _An hour and a half._

"Do you need anything sir?" I glared at the flight attendant with the beverage cart. She quickly averted her gaze and moved off to the family in front of me, waking the sleeping girls in the process.

I needed a cigarette, hated flying, hated children and their messiness and germs, missed Mello and really _needed _a fucking cigarette or I was going to go crazy!

It was probably lucky that guns and sharp objects weren't allowed on planes... though I was sure Mello would try and sneak his on.

I sighed slightly and pulled out more gum. Gum was calming, wasn't it? I should have bought nicotine patches before the flight...

A while later I heard some not so hushed whispers before a tiny hand crept through the seat opening to tap me on the leg. I tried not to glare at the child.

"Why is your hair red?" came the excited question.

_What?_

"Why do you have tiny scars on your face?"

"Was it painful?" came the next two questions. I blinked at them. I had forgotten about those, Mello had said they were _hardly_ noticeable. I guess that's why they had said 'tiny'.

"Jacquelyn, Amanda, leave the nice man alone." I wasn't sure if it was the father or the girls who annoyed me more at the moment. I was surprised to find that they actually listened to him this time; though they kept stealing glances at me through the opening.

"At this time we are beginning our decent into London Heathrow airport, so I will ask that everyone has their seatbelts fastened, flight attendants as well." that meant we had about another half hour left.

The plane jerked a few times before leveling out and tilting downwards slightly. As we descended further we seemed to be hitting all the right places for turbulence. I was glad that I had my seatbelt on because we were getting tossed about in our seats.

The two girls were whimpering in their seats and I almost felt sorry for them. Almost.

The plane lurched one last time before settling into a smooth landing, which seemed to take just as much time as the entire flight. Which realistically couldn't happen, but when one anticipates something it seems to stretch out for far longer than it should.

My stomach flopped as we touched down, tires screeching on the pavement. I chewed my gum harder and felt my jaw muscles ache in protest. They would probably be sore later. My mind immediately went into the gutter for other reasons my jaw could be sore....

The captain came on again and said something about being a few more minutes before we could actually leave the plane due to too many planes unloading. I packed away my laptop, and replaced the remaining food and water before whipping out my cell phone and turning it on.

What was another fifteen minutes to wait after the some odd eight and a half hours of hell I had already endured? If I never had to board another plane in my life I think I could die happy. Very happy.

"-I hope you've had a pleasant flight and thank you for flying-" I snorted. A pleasant flight? Nine hours stuck in a flying tin can was not pleasant in any way shape or form. Especially without cigarettes.

Other passengers from first class started getting up so I followed suit only to get blocked in the isle by the father trying to get bags from the overhead compartment. I took the time to slip the strap of my bag over my head and adjust it across my shoulder.

Once the man had all three bags he and his daughters began walking leaving me free to do the same. Being in first class allowed us to be off the plane fairly quickly; I was never more happy to be _in_ an airport as I was now.

Now all I had to do was walk to baggage, which wasn't all that far away.

"Bye!" the two girls called out to me before they were dragged away by their father. Maybe they weren't so bad... but if Mello ever said anything about _us _adopting I'd have his head examined.

My face lit up in a grin. Speaking of Mello...

I pressed redial on my phone, as it was Mello I had called last. It was picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?" his voice was thick with sleep and I wondered just what time it was there... actually, what time was it _here_?

"Hey. I just landed." I felt kind of bad that I woke him, but I was too happy to be off the plane at the moment.

"How did everything go?" ha. Funny he should ask that. I could go off on a rant like he does when he's frustrated... but once I have my cigarettes I'll be over it. He already knew how much I disliked airports so he didn't need me to tell him again.

"Flight was late, airports suck." So I just gave a quick summary; just enough for him to know I was annoyed.

"We'll I'm at least happy you landed safely, flight irritants excluded." I laughed lightly, some of my tension leaving.

"Just think, in a few more days I get to do the same." the same? No I doubt it.

"But you won't have those two children from hell on your flight." I thought I heard an intake of breath, but I might have been mistaken. I stood carefully on the escalator and let it take me down to baggage where someone would be waiting for me. I assumed it would be Roger.

"Oh, there's Watari..." I whispered as I spotted the aging man. I really hadn't expected him. I heard Mello yawn slightly in the background. I definitely had woken him up.

"I should probably go then. I'll call you later..." I said reluctantly. I really wish Mello was here with me.

"I'll be waiting for it then. Bye." I smiled at that and hung up as I approached Watari.

"Hello Matt. It has been a long while since I have seen you. You have changed at lot from your younger years." he spoke kindly. He had always had a grandfatherly aura about him, and still did.

"Yeah... but you should see Mello." the main reason you haven't seen me is because I ran off, I thought to myself.

"Do you need to retrieve any bags?" I nodded. "Just one." I waited beside my flights sign and a few minutes later spotted my bag slowly drifting towards me. Grabbing it I had to wonder what the hell I had packed.

"I'm all set." I told Watari quietly. Really I just wanted to get outside and smoke. It did occur to me, as we exited the doors by baggage claim, that L had made Watari drive all the way out here to get me.

"Thank you." I had never been great with words, except for maybe around Mello, but I found it suddenly hard to say more than thank you. It was like the rest of my thoughts had fled my mind leaving me with just those two words.

But from his expression he understood what I was thanking him for. And with the amount L and Near talked, he was probably used to small conversations.

"It was no problem. I do enjoy getting out from time to time." he told me with a smile. It made me wonder if he still had to go get L his cakes and such. I shrugged the thought off; it wasn't something I would ever ask him.

I pulled out a pack of cigarettes and sighed happily as I lit one and took a long drag. That had been entirely too long without a smoke. I never used to be so bad regarding my cigarettes, but it seemed that this case has made me dependant on them a little too much.

Nothing I could really do about it now. Asking me to quit was like telling Mello he couldn't eat chocolate anymore. It wasn't an option.

"How have you and Mello been doing? L rarely tells me more than the simplest of information, such as you are breathing. I do worry about you all from time to time, do you mind indulging an old man of his whims?"

Well, I couldn't exactly tell him everything that's been going on, though I knew he had to know a bit more than he was letting on. "We're doing alright despite all the trouble that seems to follow us." he chuckled at that.

"Though by coming here I suppose we're finally admitting that we can't do this alone anymore." he seemed satisfied, at least for the moment, with my answer so I left it at that. We reached the car in no time, and I put out my cigarette. Though I held no doubt that if I asked he would let me smoke inside.

The ride started off in silence, but I didn't mind it at all. It wasn't the tense and awkward silence like the ride with Jasper. This was calming, and I was comfortable. I was also finally realizing just how tired I was.

I had sort of slept on the plane, but sleeping on a plane is never good enough. It always left me feeling... drowsy.

I turned my gaze to the window and the world that shown outside of it. I hadn't been in England in about eight years. Just from walking outside those few minutes I could tell it was still just as damp and cold as when I had left.

And still just as beautiful. It may not be to others, but I had spent many good years here in my childhood. I smiled faintly at the memories of a simpler time dancing around my thoughts. They were good to look back on, but I wouldn't give up what I had with Mello to go back to them. Even if it took all our painful memories away.

The ride back to Whammys took around and hour and some odd minutes, I hadn't really been paying attention, and my mind couldn't supply me with an exact estimate.

As we pulled up to Whammys it suddenly felt surreal. It was like I was four years old again and my first time seeing the grand structure of the orphanage. It had been a long eight years. I think Mello will be happy to be back, even if it's only temporary.

Once the car was parked and I got my bags, because I refused to let Watari take them, we headed inside. I supposed I could call him by his given name now if I so wished, but unless I heard L or Near call him by Quillish or Whammy I wouldn't.

"You have arrived a little later than expected." a more than familiar voice stated blandly from an open door. "My flight was delayed." I held in a yawn and my fingers twitched. I really needed some sleep, and to call Mello.

"Well, let's get you settled in then." Rodger began walking leaving Watari and I to follow him. Though I knew Watari had to already know the way. It seemed Rodger still liked to feel important, that or he was just being nosy.

We walked further into the orphanage and into a restricted area, or so the sign on the wall said. I'm sure they had more than that sign as a warning to the children not to venture here; probably threatened with punishment from L himself if they were caught anywhere near here.

But if any of them were like Mello was as a child then it wouldn't stop them. They probably already knew L was here, and by default, Near. Though I doubted they would even begin to guess that his two other successors were going to be here as well.

After a few more twists and turns there came a door much like the main Library's. Rodger opened it without knocking and stepped inside allowing us to follow.

L was seated in front of about six laptops while Near was seated on the floor seemingly playing with finger puppets whilst ignoring his own computers.

"Greetings Matt." Near said in his emotionless tone while L merely said my name in greeting.

"Hey." well this was wonderfully stimulating. A room full of anti-social genii. I couldn't wait until Mello got here.

"Now that Matt knows his way here, I suggest letting him get some sleep. His mind will not be up to par otherwise." L stated though his gaze never once left the monitors. There was only a short pause before he added, "and if you smoke please do so with the windows open."

I smirked and Rodger frowned at me, obviously not likening that I smoked. I would probably make it a habit of lighting up around him then. I was gone for eight years and not even ten minutes in the place and all my rebelliousness came back.

I could only imagine what Mello would act like. I shook my head in amusement. He would be respectful of L, at the least, but the moment Near said something to him it would be war. I couldn't really care one way or another. I had had never like nor disliked Near, but I would always side with Mello.

"Fine with me." I stated to L's suggestion. Honestly though, had I been asked to stay I probably would have fallen asleep doing something. Damn jet lag.

"You're room is over here, if you will follow me?" I nodded to Watari and left the room, Rodger staying behind and his annoyed voice floated out into the hallway though I couldn't make out what was being said.

My room was four doors down, and of a decent size. There was a desk and a small dresser off to the right and a bathroom with a shower and tub to the left. The bed was a king size and I felt myself smirk.

"We made sure that the accommodations would allow for you and Mello to room together." Watari commented with a small smile. I thanked him again and he took his leave.

I pulled my phone out and dialed Mello's number and kicked off my shoes while I waited. By the fifth ring I began to sigh and was ready to end the call when it suddenly picked up and Mello's voice rang out over the speaker.

"Hey, don't hang up." I blinked. I guess he knew me too well.

"What were you doing? I almost hung up." I yawned around my words but knew Mello would at least get the gist of what I was saying.

"Creatively bashing that book Jasper has wanted me to read since... whenever he gave that to me. And I thought I asked you to throw that out?" I laughed and began to unzip my jacket. Now that I was inside, it was rather warm. Besides I was going to sleep, I wouldn't need the jacket. Pulling it off I tossed it across the room leaving it to be picked up later.

"You only wanted me to get rid of it so Jasper couldn't yell at you when he found out his book had oh so conveniently disappeared before you could read it." Really, why he couldn't just tell Jasper he didn't want to read the damn thing in the first place I would never know.

"How did you even know it was his?" I rolled my eyes at his question.

"He let me know you were borrowing it." Mello snorted in amusement.

Mello groaned quietly over the line just as I started to tug my t-shirt off.

"What's wrong?" I wasn't sure if he could hear me; my mouth got caught on my shirt and muffled the sound.

"Nothing, just bored." bored? Really?

"How can you be bored? Go do something on the internet, bug Jasper." though the last suggestion probably shouldn't be done...

"Yes because Jasper would be all too happy with that at the moment, or have you forgotten just how unhappy he is with us at the moment?" well, at least Mello realized that too. So I wouldn't have to nurse him back to health after Jasper shot him...

"Well then go back to that book. I'm out of ideas." I yawned again. I really was tired. I think it was because of how warm it was in here. It was making me more tired. Or something.

"Alright you need sleep, so I'm going to let you go. I won't be able to talk today anyway since I'll be busy with my case, but I will call you later ok?" If I could stop yawning Mello probably would talk more, but that didn't seem possible at the moment.

"That's fine, I'm surprised you lasted this long, I know you hate talking on phones. I swear it must be something you caught from Whammys because none of us like talking on these."

"Except you, because you are strange." I rolled my eyes and gave him the finger though he couldn't see me; it was more out of habit than anything.

"Love you to Mello." I said a bit sarcastically, though I still meant it.

"Just go to bed, unless you are already there. In which case feel free to entertain me." I laughed outright and mumbled a goodbye before ending the call. He wanted phone sex after making me go on a plane by myself? Ha.

Though maybe it would have been more amusing to start it and then just when things were getting good for him, end the call on account of needing sleep. Yes, that would have been funny.

Tugging off my jeans I left them where they fell and slid into the bed in just my boxers. I yawned again and turned on my side. I had no idea what time it was since I hadn't really looked at my phone.

But at the moment, sleep was all I wanted. Closing my eyes I felt my mind begin to drift and finally relax after a few more minutes.

It was dark when I next opened my eyes, but more like early evening than late at night. Shaking the sleep from my head I sat up, the covers pooling at my waist. I stretched and felt my back crack; tension immediately fled my stiff shoulders and I sighed.

Grabbing my phone I looked at the time and it stated that it was sometime after eight pm. Well, that was after I adjusted the time in my head. My phone still read New York time. It might actually be far past dark here by the time Mello called again.

I redressed and quietly left my room only to almost run into Watari in the hallway. "Good evening. I am getting L some tea, would you like anything?"

"Coffee, please?" Watari nodded, but I noticed his smile was a little strained. I was used to people hiding things from me, mainly Mello, so I knew something was up. I wondered if something had happened while I was asleep.

I would find out soon enough, though I hated having to find out I was right about hidden information.

The door had been left ajar so I pushed it open just enough to let me through and didn't bother to close it. "L, what's going on?" I watched as he franticly typed away, more like stabbed, at the laptops keys. Even Near was working, though a bit less awkwardly.

"Matt..." L paused as if deciding on something. "At around eleven-thirty, New York City time, Mello was abducted by the Organization." and just like that, my world came crashing down around me.

-**End **_**Presage**_-

**AN: ***Cough* Yeah..... I have a feeling this fic is going to go beyond my wordage expectations.... very quickly. If the last two chapters were any indication. But do NOT expect all chapters to be this long, because they will not..... really...

Heheh I made Matt hate airports...

OK, so I there a few of my own airport experiences in here.... Matt's just lucky I didn't make him miss his flight... like I had. Fuckers.... I swear to kami I'll never have a connecting flight again in Charlotte, North Carolina because that airport suxs so bad and so does the weather. Both times I had to go there they fucked things up. ;( Ok enough of my rant......

So tell me what you liked/didn't like.... as in review plez!

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Galaxy The Element Girl, Maykitty, Possessed4evr, CaramelColoredDreams, Kyler Conroy, lovelyblackheart


	4. Chapter 3: Lash

**Disclaimer**: I don't own ANYTHING ok?

**AN**: This is an experiment... yeah....

**Suggested Listening**: Kiss and Control **by** AFI**;** Falling Down **by **The Birthday Massacre**;** Lost At Sea **by** At This Moment

**Chapter Three**: _Lash _

All at once his senses came flooding back to him. All except sight, and for a panicked moment he thought he was blind. In a sense he was; he was blind folded. Some sort of cloth still covered his eyes and his hands and feet were bound a well.

He was alone in the room, the silence attested to that.

He was cold, much cooler than he should have been, and it took no large amount of time for him to come to the realization that he had been stripped naked. He frowned. They may as well have gagged him while they were at it.

Though no one was in the room he felt as though he were on display, a new toy to be played with. Though knowing how the 'toys' ended up was no comfort.

A loud metallic bang echoed throughout the room; it was the the sound of a bolted latch coming undone. He could hear the door slide open and a pair of footsteps on what sounded like cement; with how it felt against his skin it was more than likely.

"There is no need for you to pretend to sleep, I know that you're awake." he hadn't been pretending. Just because he wasn't making a fuss didn't mean he was _pretending _to do anything.

"I suppose I should get started. I'm supposed to ask you if you would oh so kindly tell us everything you know about L. So how about it?" he didn't answer. There was nothing to say.

There was a _swoosh_ and the back of his thigh exploded in pain. He gasped in surprise.

"Answer me!" the man snapped. "No." he grit his teeth and this time his shoulder was hit. From the feeling and the sound it made while being swung though the air it was probably a wooden paddle, a switch, or something like it.

But knowing what it was didn't stop the pain.

"That's alright then; I was hoping you wouldn't cave so easily. I was told to spend a few days with you before asking again."

It didn't matter how many times he was hit, or how many times he was asked. His answer would remain the same.

And the pain would always be painful.

His hands were unbound though he knew better than to do anything more than move them to his front.

He was yanked to a kneeling position, and when he didn't cooperate well enough with that, he was hit in the stomach. He coughed violently as the air was literally knocked from his lungs. His muscles clenched in pain and he wanted nothing more than to curl back up on the floor.

There was the sound of something sliding but he paid it no mind though he knew that observation was key in his situation. Suddenly his blindfold was being taken off and he blinked rapidly in the dim light.

"Look at me." he stared defiantly at the ground, he supposed it didn't matter what he did or didn't do. The man would find a way to be brutal with him; it was just the way this organization was.

"I said look at me!" his face was roughly jerked upwards and he had only seconds to watch as something made of metal struck the side of his face. His vision blacked out for a startling moment before a sharp throbbing stemmed from his left temple and stretched outwards.

He heard laughter but he didn't dare open his eyes to check; any movement, small or large, sent massive pain shooting from that spot.

But he wasn't given a choice in the matter. Something came around his neck and was tightened; his hands fumbled at the material, trying to get rid of it.

"You will learn to listen, or this experience will be even more unpleasant for you." it was a belt, there was a belt around his neck, and if his tormentor chose to, he could choke him. Kill him right there.

Rationally he knew the man wouldn't be allowed to do so, because of his knowledge, but the feeling of the leather strap across his throat was making it hard to stay calm. And the man tugging at the belt knew it.

With both hands clutching at the leather belt he'd left his body unprotected and it was immediately taken advantage of. The wooden paddle was brought down hard across his right hip and he couldn't hold in a cry of pain.

But the second he moved his hands from his neck the strap was yanked, choking him. He was being given a choice, choke or be beaten.

The man couldn't kill him...

But that didn't mean he couldn't do a _lot_ of damage.

The leather was pulled tighter and with a sinking feeling, he moved his hands back to it.

By the time the man left for the day, what day he wasn't sure, his body was tender and ached all over. The bastard had even smacked him across the face another time and he could feel blood slide down from his head and catch in the blindfold; which had been replaced, along with whatever bound his hands, just before the man had departed.

It became sticky and damp, coated in the foul metallic smelling blood.

He sucked in a breath and released it slowly. It could be worse, he reminded himself. They wanted him for information so they would keep him alive. And that would be their mistake, because _they_ would find him, and take the entire organization down at the same time.

He just needed to stay alive _and_ sane until then.

**-End **_**Lash**_**-**

**AN**: This was short, I know. But I promise these chapters will get longer. Though maybe for his sake they shouldn't 0_o? Um… I really have no idea how 'bad' the torture sessions will get, if worse at all. It's basically where my mind wants to wander, though I do have some very _nice _plans in store....... Lots of research was involved..... hehe.

Next update will be on Saturday if I have time. ^_^

**Special thanks to my reviewers**: CaramelColoredDreams, Kyler Conroy, Salvi, Possessed4evr, lovelyblackheart, cy-grl


	5. Chapter 4: Seized

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Death Note

**AN**: I'm not sure what to say about this chapter.... other than it was longer than I intended.... I just couldn't seem to stop T^T.

I was listening to 'Je Ne Regrett Rien' (Cinema Bizarre) on repeat.... well... it_ is_ the theme for this fic... but honestly it should be banned from my playlist if long-ish chapters are the result....

**Suggested Listening**: Not For You **by **The Juliet Dagger**; **Better Than Drugs **by **Skillet (I rather like this song, it kind of describes their relationship...)

**Chapter Four**: _Seized _

_~Matt~ _

"What did you..." I started to say. The words caught in my throat and I couldn't speak. Mello was... had been... abducted? By the Organization? The same one I had only just escaped death from? The one we all thought we could take down now that the leaders were disposed of?

"Mello should have been working on his case all day, they shouldn't have been able to.." L's fingers slowed just the slightest bit before slowing to a more normal pace.

"It was a trap."

"A trap?" I questioned when he didn't immediately elaborate.

"The case was fake. It was something put together by the Organization in order to kidnap the both of you." both of us? Oh no, please tell me he didn't-

"When did Mello figure it out?" my fists were clenched by my sides and my eyes were trained on the back of L's skull.

"Almost immediately." my shoulders slumped. That was why he had been so insistent on me going to England.

"While I agreed with certain parts of his plan, I also stated that he should tell you. Though that might have defeated the purpose of keeping you safe."

My eyes narrowed. "You knew? You let him do this even after everything that has happened to him in just the past few months? What precautions did you take, tell me there was _nothing _that could have been done to prevent this?!" I was almost shouting at the end, and I was a little ashamed of myself.

I should have told Mello no, put my foot down, then maybe...

"No one was watching him. He was to call at least once a day. We couldn't trust the police with this... they were not cooperating as much as I'd hoped. " L's voice hadn't faltered even once, though his typing had slowed to a crawl.

"No one? You let him go against the Organization, the_ Organization _that is _still _killing detectives all over the world, without so much as one person watching out for him?" I didn't doubt Mello's skills since he'd been in the mafia, but these people were different than the mafia. They were worse.

"We were watching, as much as we could, through the airport security…"

I could feel heat rise to my cheeks, the sudden urge to go over there and attack him almost leaving me breathless. L had been watching him and because of him, Mello had slipped into the Organization's grasp.

"If he dies because of this, because of you, so help me L I will make Kira look like a saint." I spat at him. I never let my anger get the best of me, I was usually calm where Mello was the emotional volcano, but I slipped. I couldn't hold it in. I couldn't _deal _with it right now.

I turned and stormed out of the room, it was leave or get into a fight I knew I'd lose, but not before hearing _'I have sent everything to your e-mail... I'm sorry.'_

I grit my teeth and didn't pay any mind to Watari as I slammed my door shut again. I should have at least taken the coffee I had asked for, I was pissed at L and Mello, not him. Mello.

I shut my eyes tight. That fucking idiot. Always hiding things from me... _important _things...

I stopped my thoughts there. There were things that needed to be read over, I probably didn't even have all of the picture. I might never... no. Mellowould tell me everything _when_ we got him back.

Tugging open my laptop case I quickly powered it up and went into my e-mail. If L said he sent it, then it was sent. In it was everything he couldn't, or didn't know how to say. As well as audio from their conversations. It honestly shouldn't have surprised me that L recorded all phone calls. Really....

It was a bit of a shock to actually hear Mello's voice and it made my chest ache something fierce.

I listened to their conversation while reading through the same information, only more elaborate, on the e-mail.

It made sense now, why Mello had me act as his partner in that case. And... part of me agreed with the steps he'd taken. But the rest of me... didn't know whether to be pissed at him or floored that he cared so much to do this. This stupid and dangerous plan, that ultimately failed. Miserably.

They were both right, I wouldn't have left had I known... and then we both would have been caught. That much I would admit. But why couldn't they have told the police to keep an eye on him, at least at the airport? Surely they could have done something?

Or would have gotten him killed already?

Lowering my head to my hands I took a deep breath. They'd had him for _hours _... they hadn't even had me for that long and I'd been cut up. I felt the tears slip free of my shut eyelids but didn't care.

Gripping my hair in frustration I snarled. Where he was strong I was weak, and that was the problem. He was _always_ protecting me, always getting hurt because of it. And I was sick of being so god damned _useless_!

A knock on the door stopped me from pushing the laptop off the bed. "Matt?" I sighed and went to the door and opened it, I didn't want to deal with anyone at the moment but I wouldn't ignore Watari... it wasn't his fault.

"I thought you might still want a cup of coffee, it may help a bit." I smiled weakly at the older man and gently took the cup from him. "Thank you." he seemed like he wanted to say more to me, but thought better of it and instead inclined his head and slowly began to walk to where L and Near were.

I looked down and stared at the brown liquid in my hands; my face reflected in the shimmering surface. Everything in my expression was blank, except my eyes, I knew my eyes would always show what I was feeling.

It was why I had let my hair get so long after I had changed my appearance, to hide them.

If I was going to work on saving Mello, I couldn't worry about what the others saw. I couldn't have them withholding things from me, because I had no doubt that L would if he thought I would work faster without knowing.

"Watari?" the older man stopped and turned around, having not gone all that far, as though he'd expected me to ask him something.

"Could I possibly ask a favor from you?" Mello may not appreciate this favor, because I knew they would end up becoming a permanent fixture once again, but he'd get over it.

Watari had looked surprised, not greatly, at my request but assured me everything would be taken care of. I nodded and thanked him. Really it wasn't something monumental, just something I felt I needed. Call it a security blanket if you will... like my cigarettes and Mello's chocolate.

Near and L could complain all they wanted, but I was smoking in that damn room.

Quickly grabbing my laptop I headed back to the computer room, well what I had now named as the computer room. L was still typing, though one of his hands would stray occasionally to the plate of sweets off to his left. And Near... well he was being Near.

"What have you got so far?" I needed to know exactly how bad the situation was. I knew how it happened but I didn't know anything about what we, or L, currently knew.

"These are the security feeds from just before Mello was supposed to get to his flight." I closed the gap between us and leaned forward to get a better view. L had pulled up the surveillance and they were showing Mello exiting the airport Starbucks wearing a scowl and picking irritably at his leather top. My heart skipped for a moment at seeing him.

From just that I would assume he spilled something on himself or someone else had. It was probably the latter as Mello took care regarding his leather. He entered the bathroom. Not even two minutes later a man entered the bathroom with him, but there was nothing unusual about him; aside from the fact that his face seemed to be avoiding the cameras.

It was probably just a coincidence, but I was sure L was checking into it as far as he could either way.

Another five minutes passed and only that man walked out, Mello was still no where to be seen. L fast forwarded the tape to around twenty minutes later when a janitor wheeling a cart went in. Again the face couldn't be seen.

"This was when I lost Mello's cell phone signal." only a few minutes later the janitor and cart left, not nearly enough time to have been cleaning the bathroom; especially in an airport. Mello's body had been smuggled out in the fucking cleaning cart.

"I assume you have already attempted, numerous times, to call him since then. As well as kept watch on the video feed?" I saw L nod and I rubbed my face with a sigh. I would have been right there with him had I not left almost a half day earlier. Fuck!

"Any leads?" L was silent for a long time and I had assumed he wasn't going to answer me, though that would have been more than enough of an answer for me.

"...no. I cannot seem to identify either of those men. Assuming that it isn't simply the same man." then that was it. We were going to be scrambling for information while Mello was in the hands of a fanatical organization, one that had nearly succeeded in killing us both hardly a month ago.

Wonderful.

Just fucking _wonderful_.

But I wasn't going to just stand around and bitch, I was going to be useful. I was going to do what I did best. Analyze. I sat down on the right side of L and plugged my laptop into one of the other computers.

My laptop on its own didn't have all the necessary recourses, but all my programs were on it, and I didn't have time to download them to L's system. I set the coffee on the table next to my laptop, though I had yet to take a sip.

I pulled up the airports surveillance and backtracked to the time where Mello was walking into the bathroom and paused it. His expression was clear, as I zoomed in; he was irritated, pissed off even.

He wouldn't have had that exact expression if he had been the one to spill the coffee. I needed to find video of inside that Starbucks. I knew they had to have one, they did for just about every angle in the airport, except the most important like the bathroom.

My fingers danced across the keyboard and it made me realize just how long it had been since I'd had any cases to do. Well besides the Detective Purge, but just about every detective had taken that one on.

Finding it, I went to the time when Mello should have been inside. I had gone a little too far as it showed him in line ordering. He sat down at one of the tables and picked at the huge muffin and drank his coffee. I thought I would have to skip over some pieces of it but he finally got up.

L looked at me as I _tsked_ at his disposal of the muffin. That was when a man practically ran into Mello and the coffee was spilt on his vest. "L, what are the odds of the same person avoiding the cameras twice, and happening to be the one to cause Mello to go into the bathroom?" L looked thoughtful.

"As well as go into the bathroom just after him, without having purchased anything from the store he went inside?"

"I would say the odds are slim. And if his face avoided the other cameras, then I would say that he is our suspect, our only link to the Organization." at that hint, I followed the mans steps, from the time he walked out of the bathroom and until he went into an employee only door.

The janitor from the tape walked out with no one having gone in, or come out after. I traced all his activities then, from the moment he arrived at the airport to the last footage of him taking the cleaning cart outside.

"How is it possible not to have _any_ footage of his face? With all of the cameras, you'd think one would get him." I growled.

"Someone will have seen him, and I will see to it that anyone that even remotely walked passed him is questioned. However it will be difficult for us to describe him..." L put his thumb to his lips with a small sigh; though he was still _typing _with his other hand.

If I didn't know Mello so well, or at least in regards to his leather, I probably wouldn't have even checked the feed. After all, he could have spilled the coffee himself.

There was no reason for me to do the same things as L was, or Near for that matter, so I stuck with reviewing the tapes, hoping for something more to show up. Instead of skipping through the feed as I had before, I watched all of it.

The guy talked with no one in person, though he had pulled out his cell phone briefly. He had arrived roughly twenty minutes after Mello had, if he had taken any longer to get through security then Mello would have made it.

I paused Mello's figure on the screen and stared at his black and white form.

_Mello, where are you?_

"I take it from your expression that you have found nothing else of value?" Near questioned me, his fingers twisting a lock of white hair. I nodded.

"Perhaps if Mello wasn't so impulsive or vain he wouldn't be in his situation?" I narrowed my eyes. Maybe, while Mello was gone, I would take his place in hating Near. Just a little.

"At least Mello actually does something other than sitting on his ass." It was true. Near merely used people; ordered them around, playing with them like he did with his toys. He was a thinker while Mello was a man of action. Near figured things out and sat back while Mello took the steps to solve the case on his own.

Before any sort of argument could really be started Watari came into the room with replacement sweets.

"Matt, I was able to procure the item you requested. I left the package on your bed." I stared at him for a moment before a small grin broke free. That was far sooner than I had expected. At best I thought a few days before I actually got them.

"Thank you." he smiled kindly at me while L merely watched our interaction with slight curiosity, though he was still thankfully more focused on the task at hand.

"Matt, you do not need to keep their hours. You haven't eaten anything since you got here more than 12 hours ago. I suggest you take at least an hour off to eat and freshen up." I clenched my teeth. I could be rude and tell him no, but after the rush job it wouldn't feel right.

He probably planned for that. And he was right, I was starving, and probably needed a shower... but Mello...

"I will inform you immediately if something arises." L supplied helpfully around a mouthful, or rather forkful, of cake. I had a feeling he had another motive for getting me out of the room, probably concerning Near.

"Fine." I said with a heavy sigh. Sad to say but there really was nothing I could do right now that they weren't already doing._ They_ probably didn't even have enough to do.

"I'm taking a shower first." I called out as I left the room, the only one needing to know was Watari, as I assumed he would insist on getting me food. It wouldn't matter if I protested. That was just the way he was, and had always been, even in my youth. Damn that made me sound old.

I found a brown package sitting on the bed but ignored it in favor of heading straight into the bathroom. I took a hot shower, which helped me to relax slightly, but didn't stay in it for long. I just couldn't stop thinking about Mello.

I padded barefoot out of the bathroom with only a towel around my waist. I heaved the suitcase onto the bed and unzipped it. I was shivering though I knew I shouldn't be, I would probably regret it later but I was going to forgo my t-shirts. I hadn't packed many of them anyway.

I rifled through the top layer of clothes to get to the long sleeved ones I'd packed only to stare in surprise. My lips turned upwards into a grin as I shook my head. "Mello..." most of my shirts were now striped, like they used to be.

Mostly they were black and white and red and black, though I did see an odd purple and black one. At least there was nothing pink or yellow mixed in.

Ever since he'd found out who I was, and I'd stopped changing my appearance, he'd been slowly integrating things I used to like back into my wardrobe and daily life. Such as these striped shirts.

It looks like he finally got rid of everything non-striped, with the exception of my band t-shirts. I didn't mind so much, not at all actually, as I still loved stripes. Though it was amusing to see Mello doing things like this.

It made me wonder how long before he would start sneaking games into my stuff. I closed my eyes and ran a hand through my wet hair. Thinking about the blonde hurt. If we didn't get to him in time and he... I didn't know what I would do.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind for the moment, I picked out a red and blacked striped shirt and yanked it lose from the pile. A soft thump made me glance down curiously; I hadn't packed anything breakable...

Something slim and silver peeked out from underneath a shirt so I pulled it out. It was Mello's laptop. Mello didn't have it with him? And when the hell had he packed this? Then again I didn't know about the shirts either...

But why wouldn't he have kept this?

Did he... expect something to go wrong? Or was it just some sort of precaution? I shook my head to clear myself of those thoughts. I would get no answers like this. The only one who had the answers to my questions, was Mello.

I tugged on the striped shirt and pulled a random, but clean, pair of jeans on afterwards. Quickly throwing on socks and shoes I sat heavily on the bed and turned my attention to the brown wrapped package. Opening it, I stared at the contents. Another way to hide myself.

My eyes were always too expressive...

Slipping on the goggles I picked up Mello's laptop and left the room.

It appeared that Watari had brought my meal to the computer room, and for that I was grateful. I wouldn't have wanted to eat anywhere else, especially not the dinning hall. Though I doubted they wanted my presence, or L's for that matter, known.

Watari said nothing about my appearance, though he did give me a knowing glance, and neither L nor Near had looked away from their computers so it was hard to tell if they'd even noticed.

I ate quickly and when I was done I hooked Mello's laptop up to L's system. I checked the entire computer, but there were no messages left, hidden or otherwise. That meant that, at the very least, it had been a precaution on Mello's part.

The both of us had vast amounts of data on our computers, things that would be deadly in the hands of the Organization. Though even if they had gotten a hold of one of them, the location of L and Wammys would have still been a mystery to them.

If I knew anything about Mello, no matter what they did to him, he would never give that information to them. And that was what, perhaps, scared me the most. He could be an inch from death and still not tell them.

I shivered at the thought.

I went on searching for anything that might formulate a lead for us, much the same as L and Near were doing. Really... all we were doing was filling up time, all we could do was wait.

For three days this went on.

_Three_.

There was no new information, nothing, absolutely nothing, to be found. It was frustrating. Half the time I wanted nothing more than to take something and throw it across the room, but unlike Mello, I controlled the urge.

It should have been the first sign that something was going to happen.

"Watari turn on the television...." I looked away from the computer screen at the sound of his voice. There was something odd about it. It didn't bode well.

"Any specific channel?" Watari asked as he switched the large flat screen on. "No... It's on every channel, every network, all across the world."

The second the picture flared to life I sucked in a breath. The picture was completely blank with the exception of one word. 'Organization'

"How long has this been-" the words caught in my throat as the image changed. The video images were dark, the lighting in the room poor, but what was happening was all too clear. Mello, naked and beaten, was in the middle of having his head shoved in a tank of water.

They were torturing him, and all the world could see.

After a time he was pulled free and held in place as he spat water from his mouth and gasped for air. His skin was bruised purple in some areas and he had, from what I could see, various open cuts on his back and shoulders.

I couldn't tear my eyes away, no matter how much I wanted to, I just _couldn't_ look away.

They hardly gave him any time to rest before they were shoving his head under again; he wasn't fighting this time. He had taken a large breath beforehand, but I could see it leave his body far too quickly than it should have. His lungs just couldn't hold it in.

He started to struggle again as he began to suffocate. It was... horrible to watch. I felt sick.

And just when it looked like all the fight had left him, and they were going to drown him, he was thrown to the floor.

The camera was still pointing to the tank so he couldn't bee seen, but his coughs and gasps were beautiful to hear. They hadn't killed him, not yet. I could hear frantic typing and knew I should be joining them in trying to trace the signal. But at a quick glance, L was only half paying attention to the computer.

The way the gloved hand came and angled the camera made it seem like they were using a web came.

His head was lifted none too gently by his hair so that his face was clearly seen by the camera.

"Now state your name for the camera, detective." Mello's head lulled foreword a little and his discolored hair fell into his eyes, but did nothing to hide his face.

"M-my name is..." my heart lurched in my chest, had they... had they broken him already? They couldn't have... Mello was too strong... right?

"...none of your fucking business." I didn't know whether I felt like laughing or hitting him. Antagonizing his captors should not have been on his to do list. At all. And yet... it showed he was still defiant, despite his bad treatment.

Mello was still _Mello_.

The man holding him up hadn't been amused though. He roughly smacked him across the face and Mello's lip was split. The hooded figure, a man if we went by his physique, turned to the camera.

"This detectives name is Mello. He is one of L's successors. Through him we _will_ obtain L's location. We will continue to air these sessions, live or otherwise, until L is found or he dies. We will _rewrite_ justice."

The hand, a second person in the room, reached over to turn the webcam off. Mello looked directly at the webcam and mouthed something. It was too quick for me to catch it. The moment afterwards the video feed cut off and the normally scheduled programs came back on, as though they had been on the entire time.

Mello would not be able to be a private detective after this, not with his possible succession known. And for the very same reason, he probably couldn't be named L.

But Mello was alive.

And somewhere on that feed might just be the clue to his location. We finally had something to go on, but I had to wonder, was the cost worth it?

**-End **_**Seized**_**-**

**AN**: so how'd everyone like this? Um yeah...... sorry about updating so late… heh.

**Special thanks to reviewers**: cy-grl, Salvi, Possessed4evr (if you want to be mentioned next chapter, simple, review! ^_^)


	6. Chapter 5: Crave

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note. K? Do you get that yet?

**AN**: this practically wrote itself....... and I have to say I rather like this one. *shrug*

**Suggested Listening**: Surrender **by **Entwine (I LOVE this song, and some of the lyrics fit ^_^ or so I seem to think...)

_**Chapter 5:**__ Crave _

He woke to a terrible aching pain that was rooted deeply within his stomach. A gnawing sensation so horrible he felt like something was eating him from the inside out. He knew what this was.

It was merely the beginning. It would get worse. It would subside for a while only to come back full force. It was humiliating. It kept him on his knees. It kept him _weak_.

It kept him manageable. And more importantly. It was torturing him.

It was so hard to keep his mind thinking, working, doing _something_. The worse the sensations got, the more he felt his mental capabilities slipping. The more his mind focused only on the pain instead of the things that should matter.

Like keeping his mouth shut. Not showing fear. Not reacting to them in any form. Keeping himself alive. Though the last rested more in their hands than his.

He was pitiful, he knew. Laying on the cement, curled in the fetal position, clutching his stomach. Trying to _stop_ the pain. They gave him water, but no food. They gave him lots of water that did nothing more than make the hunger grow.

He knew what would be coming next. It was what would always come next after the torture began.

The moment the doors opened, after god knew how long without food, he cracked his eyes open lazily.

They had brought the laptop.

"Get up we know you are awake." he ignored them. He had no intention of helping them at all. He would be defiant to his last breath.

He could feel the sneering eyes upon him, daring him to disobey. He didn't move.

"Stay there then. You'll be moving soon enough." he heard the not so gentle taps on the keyboard and knew they were recording. They had said they weren't going to broadcast any more videos live for a while; that the next one would be released after they had moved again.

Each time a video was shot they would move. He knew though, that if he lived long enough, they would run out of places to run to. And then they would be caught.

The door opened once again and an oddly sweet smell filled the air. He lifted his head wearily, eyes open. "There we go, like an animal deprived of food, his sense of smell has grown stronger."

Food.

His body twitched and he uncurled himself to get a better view.

_No!_ his mind screamed.

His mind said one thing, his body another. "So detective, will you beg for your food?" he froze, in a half seated position, as if finally realizing what he was doing.

He opened his mouth and gave a soft, scratchy cough before answering. "No. I'd rather starve." the man before him laughed.

"You say that now, but you will cave. Your primal survival instinct will override your senses and make the decision for you." his fists clenched tightly by his sides. The man was right. His mind was already wearing thin.

And the food, oh god it smelled so good, being so close to him would make him snap eventually. He had long ago realized he was weak, that he wouldn't be able to hold out against this torture. The others yes, but his body had already been weak in this way before they had taken him.

He had been doomed to failure from the start.

Just like always.

He knew they would keep recording until they got the desired reaction out of him. That they would edit all the data to make it fit into one video, make it look like he had cracked sooner than he actually had.

They moved the food closer to him over the next few hours, or maybe it was days. He couldn't tell. All he could concentrate on was the smell. They would take it away every once and a while, presumably to swap it out with a new one or simply reheat it.

It was some sort of pastry, covered with a sugary glaze.

The sugar would give him energy, help him think- no. He couldn't give in...

He wouldn't.

But he eventually did.

He hated to do this, hated to think that these lowlifes had bested him. But he just couldn't concentrate anymore, all he could think about was the food. And it wasn't even in thoughts, it was smell. Imaginary taste, touch, the possible texture of the food.

"You win..." he whispered, but they had caught it. He couldn't see their faces, but he could feel their smiles.

"What was that?" the second one, a woman, asked.

"I said you win. I want... I need... please let me eat." he bowed his head, letting his hair hide his expression; he didn't want the camera to record it. He didn't want _him_ to see it.

"I don't know, it doesn't really sound like you want it." the woman stated, laughter in her voice.

He had long ago given up his dignity, why not his pride too?

He forced himself onto his knees and began to crawl over to them, the lone manacle on his left foot dragging behind him. He must look pathetic, worn out, mangy. And only after so few days.

Or had it been longer than he'd thought?

His body just couldn't take it. He felt his arms quiver and more than once they almost gave out holding his weight.

"Please...?" his shoulders shook with effort though he knew they mistook it for a sign of tears.

"Good boy." the man laughed and patted his head like he were a dog. But when the food was set down on the floor, he ate like one. Shoveling the food into his mouth so quickly he could hardly taste anything more than the creamy topping.

Ravenous, would be the word to describe the way he felt afterwards. It had taken the slightest edge off the hunger but now... now he _craved_ more.

It was worse then when he hadn't eaten, because now his body fought back more. Told him more viciously, that it needed something he couldn't have.

"Is everyone watching this? This will happen to all of you who stand in our way. We will slowly break you. We will destroy you. And then we will rewrite justice. We are coming for you L."

The laptop was shut down and the recording stopped for now. He knew that in barely a day it would be sent worldwide. And then the news would eat it up, like it had before, it would play his humiliating display over and over again until a new tape was made.

Had it been worth it, to... crack? He wasn't broken, far from it. But his control had slipped. _He_ had slipped.

"Now that this is over, we can feed you again. We can't have you dying on us too soon. There are big plans for you, that is unless you want to tell us everything you know?" the woman asked.

He shook his head. He would either be rescued, or he would die. But he would not tell them a single damn thing.

He would never, _could_ never, betray them like that.

"Pity. The next set is going to leave you wishing you had." with that the woman and man took their leave from the room.

The door clicked shut and he was once again left alone. His eyes were cast to the floor and he didn't bother to stop the tears of frustration that fell.

**-End **_**Crave**_**-**

**AN**: I do enjoy my torture it seems.... hehe. I did say it would be different from the previous installments.......

**Special thanks to my reviewers**: cy-grl, lovelyblackheart, Salvi

Can I possibly get 4 reviews this chapter? (more is also good) Reviews make me better motivated……… and four is an even number. I like those better than odd ones. ^_^


	7. Chapter 6: Choler

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Death Note

**AN**: This chapter was a B**CH to write.... I'm really unhappy with it...... *sigh* and it's a two part chapter, so chapter 7 is the second half of this. But chapter seven didn't nearly as many issues….. go figure.

**Suggested Listening**: Panic Switch **by** Silversun Pickups**; **World So Cold **by **Three Days Grace

**Chapter Six**: _Choler _

_~Matt~_

We had a lead. And that lead was Mello getting tortured. I refused to wait around for another video to come along, I needed to do something. Standing up, with all the intention of doing something incredibly stupid, I was stopped by L's voice.

"Matt, if you leave Wammys, everything Mello has done as well as endured to keep you safe will have gone to waste. If you are taken captive, and I assure you that if you leave you will, they will use you against Mello to get the information they seek. Provided they don't use him against you."

I hated L at this moment. I set my jaw and my teeth were clenched almost painfully together.

"All we can do is amass data and look for the clues they didn't intend to leave." damn him for making sense. All I wanted to do was go out and find Mello, and the quickest way to do that... was the one thing I _couldn't _do.

He as right, I knew this. I just couldn't keep control over my emotions at the moment. They were fluctuating between worry, despair and anger. "Matt is beginning to act as Mello would." Near said tonelessly.

I closed my eyes behind the goggles. I couldn't work with them at the moment. We may be working towards the same goal, but if I had to deal with any more of Near's constant comments I was going to do something I was _sure_ I would regret in the future.

Perhaps…

Turning, I disconnected both laptops and gathered them in my arms. "Where are you going?" L questioned, though his typing hadn't stopped. I knew he would be searching to see if the origin of the broadcast could be found, while Near would be doing _something_, I didn't really care what. The footage would have been left to me and my programs.

"To my room." I ground out as I left.

And I planned on staying there, with no distractions, until I found something of use... or another tape was released.

I prayed that I found something first. Mello's life depended on it.

I shut my door and locked it once inside, though I knew they probably had a key. I would have to remedy that in a little while, but I figured I was too shaken to do that at the moment. Mello had almost died... on live TV. While I was watching.

Not even doing anything to help him, just _watching_.

Maybe, if I had been trying to hack the signal, we could have found him. What if, by not doing something, anything, I had just condemned him to death? I would never know, and it was a horrible feeling to have.

If it was the last thing I did, I was going to get Mello back and help destroy the Organization.

But first thing was first, I needed to find Mello's location. Ergo, I had to study that broadcast. I knew L would have started to record it before he'd had Watari even turn on the TV. That video recording would be on L's system and not my own.

But being as I had just used his system first hand not all that long ago, I could tap into it even from my room. Simply because I planted myself a backdoor into his system with layers and layers of code and personally created firewalls that only I could get through, or L.

He had to have known I was doing it, so I would assume he would have left it open. And if he hadn't known, then it would definitely have remained untouched.

I couldn't help but smirk a little as I got in easily; whichever it ended up being, I was in.

My slight good mood instantly vanished the moment I found the broadcast clip. Taking out my headphones I put them on and made sure the volume was at a manageable level before pressing play.

The screen was blank for a moment, the same blank screen with Organization' stretched across it, before it cut to dim lights. My eyes immediately locked onto Mello and I had to force them away.

"Look at the scenery, not the people. The people won't give you the clues...." I muttered to myself. But it was so damn hard to try and ignore Mello. His naked and beaten form, his gasping breaths...

The room looked like it could be a basement. Except for the fact that the walls didn't appear to have the right look. The floor was concrete; there was no doubt about that. But combined with the walls it looked like the concrete was a recent addition to the room, like there should have been carpet there before.

Or even wood flooring.

This was all just speculation on my part though....

Mello was struggling weakly in his captors hold as his head was held in the water.

The tank was made of metal and glass, nothing special...

His struggles ceased and for all appearances he seemed to have given up. Mello was finally released and dropped to the floor, the sound of coughing and gasping echoed. A hand came in view of the camera, but didn't block out the view. Someone had to have been standing off to the side as the man in front never moved from his spot beside Mello. A flash of light lit up on the side of the video, I assumed it was a glitch from moving the webcam.

His head was pulled up and into the view of the camera, the only other views being the cloaked man and the cement flooring. All else was silent in the background as well, as Mello antagonized his captor.

After the man hit Mello, he said his little speech about Mello and coming after L. And just as the webcam was going to be turned off Mello mouthed something. I slowed it down and rewound it so I could read his lips.

"I'm sorry, Matt." I closed my eyes. He was getting tortured but was more worried about my reaction to this. I knew what he meant. Sorry for not telling me, sorry for not getting to England.._.sorry._

Leaning forward I buried my fingers in my hair and took several calming breaths. How the hell was I supposed to analyze _this_? All I could concentrate on was Mello. Mello held captive, Mello getting tortured, Mello injured....

Something sparked my memory, something I had noticed earlier.

I rewound the video and slowed it to a crawl. There it was, almost covered by his greasy wet hair, blood. He had blood dripping down the side of his face. It was only there for a few seconds before it became completely hidden.

It looked recent...

He was still holding strong though, by the looks of it. But for how long....

I rewound until it reached the beginning; I left it on slow.

I don't know how long I had been going over the video. I went over it so many times, but my concentration was split between analyzing the scene... and Mello.

I pulled my ear buds out, something drawing my attention outside of the video. Someone was knocking at the door. I had no way of knowing how long I'd been at this so far, but I expected it was long enough for one of them to be bothering me.

With an irritated sigh I got up, unlocked the door, and opened it. Watari stood there and I thought I could see L poking his head outside the computer room for a moment. "Yes?" I tried not to sound too frustrated though I think it came out more as irritation.

"You have been in there for hours, perhaps you would do best with a break." Watari gave me a knowing look and I couldn't help the way my shoulders slumped. But no, I wouldn't be giving in this time.

"Sorry. Any breaks will have to wait, I'm... in the middle of something." it was clear that Watari didn't believe me, hell, _I _wouldn't believe me. But I wouldn't be able to rest until I was too tired to do anything else, and that time hadn't come just yet.

"I'll rest when L does." I said firmly. I was not budging on this, and I wasn't going to leave my small sanctuary until I had something more to go on, or the inevitable other video came in.

"I suppose you will want your meals brought here as well?" he questioned. I nodded awkwardly. I really didn't want to make extra work for him, but it seemed like I wouldn't have a choice.

I probably would forget to eat otherwise; at least until I was about to pass out.

"Are you positive you wouldn't like to work with them?" there was no need to specify whom he was talking about. We both knew.

I shook my head once more and closed the door.

Stretching, until the tension eased a little in my shoulders, I went back to the laptop. For all our smarts... we were useless when it actually mattered.

After hours watching the computer, my eyes were watery and burned from exhaustion, even with my goggles. Eventually I got up and moved over to the bed where I was more comfortable, but not before I used the unoccupied chair to block the door.

Granted it wouldn't take them too long to break down the door if I didn't answer, but at least now I would be afforded some privacy even if they decided to use the key they had. I wasn't moving from this room anytime soon.

-

There was nothing. I had been looking for _days_ and couldn't find a single damn thing! I was beyond frustrated and worried.

How many days had it been?

How many meals had I gone through...?

When would they decide a new video needed to be seen?

What would happen to Mello then?

What would I... what would I have to watch next? I went to tear my goggles off when a flash on the screen startled me.

But it wasn't the flash that caught my attention. Not quite.

I stared in disbelief as I paused and rewound the video. What I had previously wrote off as a mere flash of light, was actually the door opening. Selecting just the strip of light with my curser I enlarged and enhanced the image.

I pulled my goggles down and stared at the image. Someone had peered inside, fully cloaked, so I couldn't identify him. But my attention was focused on what was behind them.

It was a glimpse into the hallway, old but refined looking wallpaper, and a dark wood stand with a vase sitting precariously close to the edge. It wasn't the smoking gun I had been hoping for; like a sign that stated where they were...

But it was at least _something_.

I was grasping desperately at straws with this one, and I knew it, but I just couldn't help but hope this could lead to something. Even if was only the barest hint of where he was, it would be better than anything we had thus far.

I enhanced the snapshot even further and zoomed in. The previously fuzzy details were clear now. I felt ridiculous doing this, but the feel of the place screamed money to me.

Rubbing my tired eyes I placed the picture of the vase in a search engine. Perhaps I could get a list, of probably thousands, of buyers and we could at least have something to look for.

Why was time never on our side? Or luck for that matter?

Not even five minutes later the search chimed its ending and I blurrily looked at the results. It _had_ to be wrong.

Sitting up straight, as straight as my aching back would allow, I redid the search twice more just to be sure. It came up the same. This was... well it was _good_.

The vase was worth millions of dollars, mainly because it was part of a collection. There were five identical vases in that collection, all worth the same amount. Two of the locations were listed as private, which with L wouldn't stay so for very long, one was in a collector's museum of some sort. One had been broken, and one was reported stolen, which could be that vase, and that could be a problem.

I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath before replacing my goggles. I had a lead. I had found a lead.

However... was I in time?

But I had no delusions that I could do the next part on my own. I was too exhausted and analyzing and hacking were my specialties, not information gathering. Not that I couldn't do that, I wouldn't have been a detective otherwise, but I didn't trust myself with Mello. L could probably find out in under an hour whereas it would take me longer.

Every minute counted right now.

Gathering my laptop under one arm I quickly unlocked the door, after removing the chair, and was a little more than surprised to see Near staring up unblinkingly at me. He was holding a puzzle piece in one hand and playing with his hair with the other.

"Computer room now." I stepped over him, not waiting for him to follow, and didn't bother to close my door. Near had been in the way at any rate.

"L, I found something." L turned to look at me and I set my laptop next to him. "I had been stupidly ignoring something in the video until I paused it by accident." I played the clip for him in slow motion and then zoomed in as I had done earlier.

"That vase, is one of five in the world." I pulled up the rest of the information and gave it to him before slumping down in one of the swivel chairs.

"Good work." L commented almost silently as he poured over the new data. Good work? No, _good _work would have been spotting this on the first day, not... whatever day it was now. I had let my emotions distract me, and I think we all knew whose fault it would be if something more were to happen to Mello.

I could hear when Near entered the room; his soft unsteady shuffles giving him away. He came and sat down on the floor between L and I. All he had brought with him were his finger puppets, all of them boring a strange resemblance to people we knew.

Near had been playing outside of my room, or more likely 'working' in that strange way of his. Had L sent him there? No... L might worry every once and a while but it is not something he would do, and he wouldn't have sent Near who is even more of a social recluse than L himself.

Did that mean Near had done this of his own accord?

I wasn't allowed much more time to think on this, as L's computer beeped noisily.

L had found both private addresses; one was at some senator's house in Greenland while another was a location just off the coast of Spain. He was much quicker that I would have been...

"I have sent a few close contacts to check on the vases at those addresses as well as the one in the museum. Unlikely as the last one may be, it would be foolish not to check into it." I nodded to him and blinked a few times; I felt like slapping myself to keep focus but that would undoubtedly be the wrong thing to do.

"We do not need the location of one of them as it was broken, and I am still working on the location of the one reported as stolen."

There was nothing left to do other than wait. Wait for the last piece to fall into place. Wait for each location to be checked. And wait for any news...

I hated waiting.

I hadn't even noticed that Watari was in the room until he was handing L a cell phone, which L picked up like one would something dangerous. "Understood, thank you." As usual I couldn't tell anything from L's tone of voice, which never changed unless needed.

"As I suspected there was nothing to be found at the museum." I almost sighed in disappointment. "However, that was not what the call was about." I looked up as he said this, even Near glanced up.

"That was my contact that I sent to Greenland. The senator's house was checked thoroughly, as well as any nearby locations. There was nothing suspicious there." that was two locations down...

Watari brought coffee, tea for L, later and I sipped absently at it, though what I really wanted was a cigarette. My stomach was unsettled and my nerves were shot to hell and I needed the nicotine to calm me.

I nearly jumped when the cell phone rang again.

The room was strangely silent, oppressive almost, and one could feel the tension. "See if you can find anything else." L hung up and was quiet for a moment. Another miss than...

"My contact says that the Organization had been using the mansion off the coast of Spain, up until a day or two ago. They found the room Mello had been held in. Everything was gone." I shut my eyes tightly at those words.

I had been too late.

If I had looked more closely at that damn flash the first day, or even the second, Mello would be here now. Instead he was at another location, god knows where, having to endure more torture from those disgusting excuses for human beings.

I had fucked up, on an _epic_ scale.

"There was apparently a note left for us as well..." L's voice was steady, yet his posture was tense. "-as was the new video."

I wasn't weak or emotional, by any means. Not normally. But this wasn't a normal situation.

I pulled out a cigarette and lit it, not caring if it was considered rude or whatever. It was either the cigarette or... well I'd rather not do the other in front of them.

"Well, let's see it." I wasn't looking at any of them anymore, though I could feel their gazes on me. I was staring at the ceiling, watching the smoke swirl upwards. I felt strangely calm... or maybe I was just numb. Whatever it was I hoped it would stay, because I had a feeling this would not be a nice video.

Not at all.

**-End **_**Choler**_**-**

**AN: **Matt just didn't want to cooperate for this chapter..... I was really relieved once it ended, it was a fight just to get it this long. Geeze. But I have one chapter (maybe two) every fic that does this.

Also, if you don't know, I posted 'Dangerous and Moving'. It's a three shot that takes place before WSF (NAA and JNRR) and it's about how Matt met Mello, got into games, and got his first pair of goggles. Or at least my take on it for the WSF universe. ^_^

**Special thanks to my reviewers (I was awed by how many I got this time! 10, just wow. ^_^): **Rin, Galaxy The Element Girl, Kyler Conroy, jinnabun, HaturoSaturnUesugi, Salvi, cy-grl, I Hope U Hear My Silent Scream, merichuel, Possessed4evr

Keep up the awesome **reviews**, please? Reviews make me better motivated……… It's true, just wait and see once the torture chapters recommence in chapter 8… hehehe.

Actually… if I get more than 10 reviews I'll post again tomorrow instead of Friday. (only this once because I cant wait to start posting the torture…… -_-; )


	8. Chapter 7: Brackish

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN**: k, I was going to be a mean author and hold off until tomorrow, seeing as I did say 10 or more reviews and I got 8, but … you guys are so awesome, so I decided to post it anyway.

Another trouble chapter..... geeze Matty can't you be a little more helpful?! (ok, it was only on one spot I had problems with… but still…)

**Suggested Listening**: Come To Your Senses** by **Lesley Roy**;** Fallen Angel **by** L'ame Immortelle (I was listening to this on repeat as I wrote.... hehe.)

**Chapter Seven**: _Brackish_

_~Matt~ _

There was complete silence around me after I spoke. Honestly I hated how they all seemed to be waiting for me to crack, or acting like I couldn't handle it. Well, maybe I couldn't handle it... but there was no choice really, was there?

Watari looked ready to say something as L transferred the file to my laptop before playing it on the main screen. I wondered if he expected me to storm off after this. I hadn't exactly reacted well with the last video...

And if not for my royal fuck up it would have been the _last _video.

The moment the video began to play you could tell it had been edited, the quality was worse than before and I was used to spotting tampered videos.

Mello was curled up on the dingy floor, holding his stomach. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be purposely ignoring the people and the camera. He still had some fight in him. Thank god for that.

This was the last video that was taped in that location, there would be no new clues from this, unless they happened to leave a convenient neon sign with their next location. The screeching of the door came as well as the sounds of footsteps.

Mello's head jerked up wearily, eyes peering across the room. We couldn't see anything except Mello so there was no clue to what he was watching.

"There we go, like an animal deprived of food, his sense of smell has grown stronger."

I swallowed harshly as I watched Mello unconsciously uncurl himself and sit up, eyes trained on whatever was beyond the camera, though by the captors choice of words is was most definitely food.

That meant they had been starving him.

I felt a pool of anger begin to grow deep in my stomach. He'd already had eating issues that he was trying to break himself of, that made him weak, and now he was being starved? I hardly noticed that I was crushing my cigarette between my teeth until the bitter taste of the filter hit my tongue.

"So detective, will you beg for your food?" Mello froze, in his half seated position, as if finally noticing what he had been doing. When had they started depriving him of food if he was already at this stage?

Mello gave a soft gravelly cough before answering. His response neither made me feel happiness nor sadness. "No. I'd rather starve." his captor laughed, though they were still off camera.

On one hand it proved they hadn't broken him, on the other, his treatment could be worse because of it.

"You say that now, but you will cave. Your primal survival instinct will override your senses and make the decision for you." Mello's fists clenched tightly by his sides and he seemed to be struggling with something before he turned his back to them.

A slight skip in the tape showed the food, previously out of the camera's reach, now closer to Mello. Every few seconds his eyes would flicker to the food before he seemingly tore them away from the sight.

I knew that this was taking place over hours or even days, but to see him like this...

The tape skipped again and the food was even closer. I was practically chewing on my cigarette at this point.

"You win..." he whispered. I ground my teeth together. But I couldn't find it in myself to be angry. He needed the food, and I knew the only reason he'd held on as long as he did was because of me.

He didn't want me to see him like this.

"What was that?" a second voice asked.

"I said you win. I want... I need... please let me eat." he bowed his head, letting his hair hide his expression.

But I _was _seeing him like this.

"I don't know, it doesn't really sound like you want it." the second voice, a woman I think, laughed. I saw Mello's shoulders sag ever so slightly, not enough for others to notice, in defeat.

He forced himself onto his knees and began to crawl over to them; from there I could see a manacle on his left foot dragging behind him.

His arms quivered, looking like they might just give out on him as he continued to crawl.

"Please...?" Mello's shoulders shook and I prayed he wouldn't crumple to the ground, it would please them far too much.

"Good boy." his captor laughed and patted him on the head. I had never been one to want to kill anyone for any reason but right now if I had a gun, and I found them, I wouldn't hesitate.

Mello had a slightly manic glint in his eyes as he was finally given the food and I winced as he tore into the soft pastry and devoured it like a starved animal.

"Is everyone watching this? This will happen to all of you who stand in our way. We will slowly break you. We will destroy you. And then we will rewrite justice. We are coming for you L." the last part I wondered about, we were the only ones to have the tape, so why say 'everyone'?

The tape ended after that and I pulled the abused cigarette from my mouth and tossed it in my cold coffee. I honestly wasn't sure how to react to this tape. It was in a way, less violent than the last. Cruel, but less violent. He hadn't been beaten or almost drowned in this.

But how would Mello see it? Would he have preferred those to the lingering hunger? To the humiliation he had endured for a small bite of food....

"The actual tape is being tested for fingerprints, as is the rest of the house. Though by how thorough they were I doubt any will be found." L's stated quietly while half chewing on his thumb.

So that was it?

We we're back to square one?

Fan-_fucking_-tastic.

"Matt?" I turned my head to Watari questioningly. He didn't say anything, but gestured to my hand. Apparently, I had been digging my fingers into the coffee cup. If it were made of anything less than ceramic it probably would have cracked.

Funny, I couldn't even feel it.

Standing up, after detangling my fingers from the cup, I walked over to the door. "I'll be back later." I didn't really care what they thought I would be doing in my room, though I could guarantee they wouldn't be right.

I was going to call someone who I should have called more than a week ago. Someone who was going to be _pissed_. Though in my defense, I _had_ been preoccupied.

Merely shutting my door, as I had nothing to hide with this call, I searched around the room until I found my deserted cell phone. There were no missed calls and by that alone I knew it would be an interesting conversation.

Dialing the familiar number I let it ring longer than six times as I lit yet another cigarette. I would need more soon, I was already on my emergency pack. And I had brought a lot.

"Well look who finally decided to call. What do you want J?" before this call, I had decided to be patient with him, but it all went out the window at his tone. And not all the nicotine in the world could have stopped me.

"Fuck you! I'm sorry calling you wasn't on my fucking to do list but I was preoccupied with searching for Mello!" there was a small bout of silence before Jasper snorted into the phone.

"You couldn't take five minutes to call? Oh, and bang up job you did of finding him. The second video was just released on the web." so that's what they had meant by 'everyone'.

"Yes, what a great fucking job I did. I know. If I had taken a closer look at the first broadcast than L's agents wouldn't have just walked into an abandoned mansion, one that until two days ago held the Organization and Mello." I was shouting by now, and I honestly didn't care who heard me at this point.

"Can we get passed my awesome fuckup and maybe talk some business?" I ripped my goggles off and threw them into the wall and ignored the angry tears that fell. Call it a delayed reaction...

"Matt I-"

"Don't. Let's just get on with the conversation." I heard Jasper give a tiny, shaky, sigh. I took it as a sign to continue. Sitting heavily on the bed and hunching over, I wiped at my eyes and took a deep breath. I was a complete mess, falling apart, at the worst of times.

"How have you been doing on your own search for him?" it would have been idiotic to assume that Jasper wasn't looking. He may not have the resources we have, but he did know a different set of people. And at this point I would have worked with Jack the Ripper if it meant finding Mello.

"Not far, but it's only been a week. And I'm about to go to one of my least favorite people and ask for help. God knows what he'll want as a favor. But considering it's Mello he might do it for free." the last part sparked my anger again. There were so many things I still didn't know about Mello's past.

There were only so many things L had documented, and I doubt even he had the full story of what went on in those days.

"Matt, you said your found their previous hideout, where was it?" I wasn't sure how that was relevant now but I told him anyway.

"Off the coast of Spain. I'll send you the exact coordinates when I get back to my laptop."

"It's more information than we had before. Maybe the location will prove to be a clue in itself." if Jasper were in front of me right now I bet he would have been shrugging a shoulder. I would much rather be working with him than L. At least with Jasper he would force me to push all of my issues to the side and focus on what was important.

Here... I felt like I had to hide everything. It was tiring.

"I was calling to see what you had on the case. We are stumped, as much as I hate to admit it." I told him honestly.

"I figured as much. It's not like I'm doing much better on my end, but as I said I have a few things to try first."

"I'll send you what we have, what little there is. Keep in touch, even if you don't have much. I want to know what you are up to." I told him.

"Right. I'll contact you via e-mail since I don't want to interrupt you if you're in the middle of something important." I smiled bitterly at that. Something important? Well hadn't I already failed at that?

"Thanks Jasper..." I paused, unsure of what exactly I was wanting to say. "I'm sorry for not being able to keep him safe." I clicked_ end_ and the call was dropped.

Dropping my phone to the bedspread I walked into the bathroom and appraised my appearance. I hadn't cried much so my eyes weren't red besides being bloodshot. Turning the tap to hot I splashed my face a few times and tried to relax a little.

I had things to do, many things to do, before I could sleep and being tense was just taking up too much energy. Though I wondered how long it would be before I was_ forced _to rest. I knew my body better than they did, and if I felt I could still work I would put up a fight. Though at the moment, getting some sleep might be a good idea, while things were still slow...

Shutting the water off I exited the bathroom, retrieved my goggles and headed back for the computer room.

The atmosphere was.... well, beyond tense. Either it was because of the video or because they had heard me yelling. Deciding it was better not to know, or to even think about it, I turned my attention to my laptop.

First things first. I had stuff to send to Jasper. I made sure everything was secure, and that even if this somehow ended up in the hands of the Organization they wouldn't be able to trace it to us.

Once everything was sent I was at a loss for what to do. There was no point in analyzing the new video and we had nothing more to go on, again. All of us were stuck until the next video was found or broadcast.

Because without a doubt there would be another video.

I could think of hundreds of ways to torture a person, but I would never be able to prepare myself for seeing Mello being tortured. And I held no doubt that the videos, if we couldn't find him in time, would get increasingly violent as they searched for their answers and used him as an example.

Even if they broke him, and I prayed they didn't, it would not be in the way they expected. Knowing Mello... even if his mind collapsed they wouldn't gain an ounce of information on L or the rest of us.

The longer they had him, the more damage was done not only physically but mentally. We had to find him, and fast.

The only problem. Call it a feeling, or maybe I was just being pessimistic... But I didn't think we were going to find anything in time to stop another video.

**-End **_**Brackish**_**-**

**AN:** Wow, this chapter practically wrote itself, though it is smaller than I had hoped. But in the end it fits. Also, Matt's next chapter _may_ also be under 3,000 words. But I'm sure you'll forgive me once you see what comes in between.

Or maybe you wont? 0_o

**Special thanks to my reviewers**: Possessed4evr, Salvi, Galaxy The Element Girl, Kyler Conroy, Rin, I Hope U Hear My Silent Scream, lovelyblackheart, cy-grl

See, you review, I get happy and post, and then we're all happy. ^_^


	9. Chapter 8: Frost

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Death Note

**AN**: This one was..... interesting to write. Not too sure how I did on it though.... and by the way…… 50 reviews!!!!!!!! Omg, I'm so happy. I'm hoping that this will get as many reviews as WSF, I'd like for one of them to break 100 though….. maybe someday?

**Suggested Listening**: The Fool **by** Luna Halo

**Chapter Eight:** _Frost_

His eyes slid open slowly, blurrily, as his consciousness came back to the surface. Had he fallen asleep? His head hurt....

The last thing he remembered was eating something they had brought him... he'd been drugged.

Attempting to move his arms proved futile, his legs as well. Lifting his head he looked down, his eyes widening briefly.

He was strapped to a table. His arms were strapped, wrist up, out to the sides as were his legs; leaving him in a spread-eagle position.

His thoughts were still too muddled if he had taken so long to realize this. What had they given him? And more importantly... how long had he been out?

He closed his eyes tightly and willed his thoughts to run more smoothly. He was in a very bad situation, whatever they were planning, he needed to prepare himself... and yet... trying to string together more than one thought at a time was difficult.

He was in the same room, he knew that much. The walls and ceiling were the same, as was the door. And he doubted they would have moved him from his 'room'; usually they brought the torture to him.

The screeching of the door opening, after the metallic clang of the lock sliding away, had him turning his head to the side.

The woman, Eli, walked in followed by two men he'd never seen holding small coolers. Eli held a medium sized bag of something; there were no labels so he had no idea what, as well as a laptop. "Oh good, you're awake. This makes things easier, now I don't need the smelling salts."

He hated this woman. She had never been his main torturer before, but she had been there, on the sidelines, many times before. "Place those over there." she pointed to a small table that he'd neglected to notice before.

Once the coolers were set down the men took their leave, leaving him alone with her. The laptop was placed on the table and the webcam trained on his form, but not turned on until her hood was securely in place.

"Will you give me any information? Just one little thing about L? I might lessen your pain if you do, or kill you quickly if you spill it all." he was used to hearing such things from them. Every time they asked him some variation of the same things; though they already knew his answer.

"Nothing to say? Pity." her eyes appeared black in the dim lighting and her smile was deformed by shadows; she hadn't placed on the mask this time. "I have such a treat for you today. Not so much sweet as it is _salty_." the way she said 'salty' instantly had his mind on alert. But no matter how much he tried to force his thoughts he just couldn't come up with anything that could be done, that was torture.

Or at least torture by their standards.

"You're still a little drugged aren't you? I told them not to put so much in the food. Idiots." the small woman shrugged a shoulder and opened the plain white bag and pulled what looked like a laundry detergent scoop out of her jacket pocket, and set it aside.

Walking around the length of the table she wheeled the smaller table closer to him, to sit just beyond the reach if his fingertips.

"Oh, I almost forgot to putt gloves on." he could see a small trail of steam rising from inside the cooler and the moment she dipped her hand inside he closed his eyes. He doubted that seeing what was inside would make anything better in the long run.

He heard the scoop scraping at whatever was in the bag and felt a strange sensation as something, sand like, was drizzled across his forearm.

Her hand was digging around the cooler for a moment before she found what she was looking for. Something cold was pressed at his wrist, ice like and trailed quickly up his arm before being pressed down.

His eyes snapped open and his mouth opened in surprise. His arm burned! It was a slow sensation at first, a soft fizzling, the skin heating up just slightly. Then, only seconds later, it was like hot sandpaper across his skin, he was_ burning; _the wound felt like acid was being pored over it.

He didn't cry out, not that it wasn't painful. But screams and yells only egged them on, made them hurt him worse. The pain was what he remembered.

He tried, desperately, to yank his arm away but the restraints made it impossible. Tears collected at the corners of his eyes; it felt like a hole was being bor through his arm.

When the ice was finally pulled away he was left gasping for air, trying to focus on something other than his injured appendage. "Oh, what a nice mark!" the curious tone of the woman's voice made him sick with anger.

What he would do to her if he could escape....

He heard the scoop grinding against, what he now knew was salt, and braced himself for the inevitable. His teeth clenched as the salt was poured across his stomach and upwards in a line leading to his collarbone.

Was this meant to be misleading, so he couldn't tell what area would be next?

or...?

He let out a small hiss as the ice traveled across his opposite shoulder and trailed across his chest to stop at his collar bone where it was lifted. He was not prepared when it was replaced on his stomach and held just above his navel.

His stomach area, being naturally more sensitive than his arm, was seized with pain. But it wasn't just one ice cube. She had placed a handful on and was holding them still despite his struggles.

His stomach muscles clenched in agony and no matter what he did he couldn't move away, she just kept readjusting her hold.

Thankfully, depending on ones perception, she quickly grew bored of this and knocked the cubes away. He was left to catch his breath as she leaned on the table next to him, tapping her chin in a thoughtful manor.

"Oh, I know what I can do!" she giggled as she spread salt across his right shoulder and grabbed a handful of ice cubes. He moved about as much as he could to hinder her but it proved futile.

He watched with morbid fascination as she arranged he cubes into an almost checkerboard like pattern. As his shoulder heated up he slammed his head on the table with a growl, trying to divert some of the pain.

She left those ones on longer than the others and the skin was, from what he could see, left raw and blistered. He could only imagine what it would be like later...

But despite what it might feel like later the knowledge that he would have scars from her sick amusement was almost worse. Always a reminder...

Assuming he lived long enough to see them scar.

He knew it wouldn't be pleasant when she dumped more salt onto his wounded arm, the previous wounds flaring up in agony as the grainy substance covered it. He watched through hooded eyes as she pulled out a larger block of ice, _at least _three times the size of a normal ice cube, though not large enough to be too heavy.

But heavy enough to keep its place when set down.

He bit his lip as she set the small block upon his already injured right arm. The pain the first time around was nothing compared to what was felt now. Salt entered the old wound, tearing open what had settled and layers of skin were eaten through.

Nausea was rising and he couldn't help the pained hiss that escaped his lips. He couldn't scream... wouldn't. They may have won with starving him, but not this....

Blood ran down his lip as he bit down and he felt slight amusement as Eli glared at him. "I w-wont scream for you." he rasped. She pressed the ice to his arm harder but he didn't so much as flinch.

In reality that arm was loosing feeling, probably a bad sign, but at the moment he could care less.

"Have it your way." she spoke in almost a whisper. She ripped the ice away; raw, burned skin sticking to it. She roughly wiped at the wound, clearing away what she could, before taking a full scoop of salt and dumping it across the wound.

His nerves weren't so far gone that he couldn't feel the salt sizzling away at his burned flesh. It felt as though he had been dumped into a bucket of freezing water, and he only had time to gasp before his senses were overloaded, sending him into darkness.

**-End **_**Frost**_**-**

**AN: **This shit really hurts from what I've heard (the ice cube part, though I'm sure salt hurts like a b**** on open wounds too). And I've seen the burn marks doing this can leave as one of my friends was stupid enough to try it. She had an ice cube shaped burn scar on her arm.

Almost funny in a way. I mean.... having a square burn on your arm... and KNOWING it's from an ice cube...

ok well its not funny for him but whatever....

And my beta thinks he should have been screaming… but if he was like me (which im not say he is, but for the sake of argument) I don't scream. Like ever. I growl, gasp, hiss. But rarely scream. Hell I stepped on a window hook (you know those ones with the rubber that stick to the window and hold stuff up, with those nice curved metal hooks?) and all I did was gasp, and it was embedded in my foot completely. So… I didn't think he really react all that much until later… idk maybe it's just me.

Tell me what you think, Review? Heheheh. If you review I'll tell you how many chapters are left. ^_^ (because as of right now I only have the epilogue to finish.)

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Kyler Conroy, Galaxy The Element Girl, Salvi, Rin, lovelyblackheart, jinnabun, cy-grl


	10. Chapter 9: Nerve

**Disclaimer**: I don't own or make money off of Death Note or The Devil's Pitchfork (book)

**AN**: Heh. I did say id tell you how many chapters are left... there are Seven, but three of them are short like this, one is the epilogue and one is an extra chapter. ^_^ (and why yes, this does mean that I've finished this. However I'm currently working on something else so the update schedule will remain the same.)

Hahah. Has anyone read the book 'the devil's pitchfork'? It's really awesome and gave me the idea for this chapter. Be afraid, be very afraid.

**Suggested Listening:** Don't Cry Out by Shiny Toy Guns (I swear every time I hear the song I think its going to say 'obsession with naked women'. It's not my fault I swear!)

**Chapter Nine:**_ Nerve _

He was once again strapped down to a table, though the difference this time was that he had been awake when they did it. He had lost so much strength that it had been all too easy for them to force him to lie still as they tightened his bindings.

He had thought that whatever they had planned would begin then but nearly twenty minutes later, by his calculations, he was still alone in the room. At first he had wondered if they planned to use silence as a torture to him.

But the silence would have been welcome to him, as it would mean they weren't there to bother him. So he logically knew that there was something else in store for him.

More minutes ticked by and he had fallen into a light doze before being startled awake by the door opening. A man in a white lap coat walked in followed by one of his usual torturers. Lab coats usually meant doctors. He doubted very much they had brought him in to care for their captive in a sudden bout of remorse.

So that left a rather nasty alternative in his opinion.

"Good day detective Mello, it is a pleasure to finally meet you. I'd shake your hand but you seem to be rather tied up at the moment." the two men before him shared a laugh while he held in a sarcastic remark.

It would not be nice to piss the crazy doctor off. Especially when he had a bag of god knew what with him.

There was, as before, a small rollaway table beside him where the familiar laptop was once more set upon and set up. However the doctor didn't wear anything to cover his face. The webcam must have been focused on him and him alone if they left out that precaution.

The remaining space was quickly filled up with tools from the doctor's bag. Each new tool sent a shiver down his spine. The real question was if all of those were going to be used, or if they were just for show.

He eyed some of the things on the table and prayed most were for the fear value.

"It is obvious to us that normal means of torture just aren't working, so we are going to try something new today. But before the good doctor here begins, I will give you a chance to tell us everything you know about L, now."

Whatever they had planned was obviously going to hurt much worse than anything they had done to him before, but even so... he just wouldn't say a word.

"Your choice then, Doctor?" he watched as a needle, not unlike that of an acupuncture one, was picked off the table and held carefully in long, thin fingers.

"You will find that while human bodies are indeed very durable, the slightest pressure on the correct part can cause pleasure or even cripple a person with pain." the doctor's gloved fingers slid down the side of his neck to stop at his shoulder.

"Pain is a creation of your mind; and it can only take so much of it. It will of course find ways to dull the pain. (1) But the nerves become tired, your serotonin levels between nerve endings become depleted." the doctor paused and raised his other hand.

"I can open you to an entire new level of experience… one that you won't _ever_ forget."

The needle he had been eyeing warily was inserted into his shoulder and he could not have prepared himself for the feeling of agony that was produced. He screamed, every inch of his body feeling as though engulfed in flame.

Every cell in his brain was screaming, telling his brain that he was on fire. (2) That he had fallen into lava, that his skin was red, scorched, turning black, sloughing off his body.

He was shaking so bad that it was a good thing he was restrained or he would have been clawing at his skin, trying to tear away the pain; Fight the flames that weren't even there.

The needle was pulled away, and the moment the needle was gone the agony vanished as though it had merely been a figment of his imagination. He was left gasping, covered in sweat and visibly pale.

"Do you feel like being forthcoming yet?" though feeling like he had just escaped the pits of hell, he shook his head. "No." his voice was raspy and it hurt to speak.

"Go ahead doctor." the needle was replaced and the feeling of burning returned seemingly tenfold.

This was repeated many more times, and each time his answer remained the same.

No.

It reached a point where he was merely repeating the same sentence over and over, not being able to think long enough to change it even if he wanted to.

**-End **_**Nerve**_**-**

**AN:** This was short... I know. But I like it. ^_^

(1_) ((That he had fallen into lava, that his skin was red, scorched, turning black, sloughing off his body.))_

(2) _((But the nerves become tired, your serotonin levels between nerve endings become depleted.))_

k, I took those lines from the book, but that's it. It fit really well and there was no way I could reword it, I'm not that smart. But for legal purposes cuz people ere evil, I will state again that I didn't make money off of those two measly little lines nor do I claim it as mine. So there.

And in case anyone was confused, it was a normal needle, but when inserted into the nerves (at the right angle and position) will cause immense pain.

**Special thanks to reviewers (love you guys!)**: lovelyblackheart, Salvi, cy-grl, Galaxy The Element Girl, Rin, Possessed4evr

Please review, I like to know what every one thinks...


	11. Chapter 10: Rest

**Disclaimer**: I don't own ANYTHING! Nothing that makes me money at any rate....... -_-

**AN**: This is another short one I'm afraid, but it wrote itself.... while I last listening to some rather 'interesting' music. Heh.

**Suggested Listening**: Rich Man **by **3oh! 3**;** Michael **by** Franz Ferdinand _(omg don't even ask me why I like this song, or why I was listening to it while writing this 0_o. I hated it when I first heard it.... then it came on my playlist when I thought I had deleted it and it grew on me... like moss. Listen to the lyrics, replace Michael with Mihael ^_^. )_

**Chapter Ten**:_ Rest _

The lights wavered in front of him and no amount of blinking cleared his vision. He withheld another yawn and his eyelids drooped dangerously once again. How long had it been since they had let him sleep?

Sleep deprivation. It had taken its toll on him quite quickly.

They had apparently decided that this was the best torture to be done next, to give his body time to heal. How his body was going to accomplish this with no sleep he wasn't sure.

His arms were shackled above his head by cuffs and the attached chain was suspended from the ceiling. His toes could only just touch the floor. His neck and shoulders ached fiercely and his wrists felt as though they were being rubbed raw.

Only when the pain in them became too much did he grab hold of the chain above him; fingers gripping the cold metal links tightly and giving his abused wrists a rest. His eyes closed and he could feel sleep trying to take him.

He gasped loudly as ice water was thrown on him. His eyes snapped open and he jerked awake instantly. He hadn't been allowed to sleep in so long... his head was pounding; his heart pounding in his ears, distracting, irritating.

He _needed _sleep.

And he felt anger rise in him for a split second before he managed to calm himself. He would take any of the other tortures at the moment if he could just get some sleep. It was affecting his moods, his judgment, and his thoughts worse than anything thus far.

He felt nauseous half the time, when he could feel something other than the constant headache, and irritable the other half.

He was not an emotionally sound person on the best of days... but he was going from anger to feeling depressed to exhausted every few minutes. It was messing with his mind...

He saw things too... things out of the corners of his eyes, that when he looked, weren't there. He was tired. He knew this. All of that was just the byproduct of lack of sleep. So everything would be fixed when he finally got sleep... right?

He yawned again, unable to hide it this time. Spots formed in his vision and only worsened when he tried to blink them away. His eyes closed again.

"I don't think so, not yet." something smacked into his side and when his eyes cracked open he jerked back from the hand in front of his face. Only... his torturer was already across the room again, by the camera.

The hand was gone. Had it ever been there? The soft laughter crossing the room said no.

He was fed and given water, and a bucket to piss in, all had to be done for him as he was suspended by his wrists. It was humiliating. But the longer he was there, the less he cared about anything other than sleep.

The hours blurred together, he had long since lost track in his head. Days? Had it been days since he'd lost track?

His body trembled, fingers shaking around he chains.

He couldn't take any more. He let his fingers slide free of the chain links and his body dropped until he once again dangled from the cuffs on his wrists. They dug in painfully and made him bleed again, though he didn't move any more.

He was almost done. Almost to his breaking point. He was sure his captors could see it. He couldn't hold his expressions any longer; it took more energy than he had to exert.

Sometimes he had trouble remembering where he was; he would close his eyes and panic would serge through him the moment they opened again.

"Detective, where is L?" the muscles around his eyes twitched. Sleep... if he told them he could sleep...

No. It wouldn't be the type of sleep he wanted. They would only give him eternal sleep if he told them...

"Go to h-hell..." he frowned at the way his speech was slurred. His eyes closed, head dipping to his chest for a moment before shooting up in alertness; heart pounding. He shook his head gently, but only ended up making himself dizzy.

The room was spinning and he couldn't tell if he was moving, or if it was the room... nausea churned uneasily in his stomach only moments before blackness swam across his vision.

Sounds came back first, the sound of something being struck.

Then touch.

His face stung and his eyes slipped open lazily, unwillingly.

"Oh, finally decided to wake up? Have you had enough yet?" through the haze, he knew enough to answer 'no'. Though he couldn't string together anything more than that. He couldn't remember why he was saying no.

Yes meant sleep.

No meant _this_.

But 'no' also meant he might live another minute, another day, another week. Long enough to perhaps see _him_ again.

He would always answer no.

Even when he couldn't remember why.

**-End **_**Rest**_**-**

**AN**: Yeah.... Well i really have nothing to say about this one. The next chapter, the last torture chapter, is my favorite....

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Salvi, lovelyblackheart, Galaxy The Element Girl, Rin, Possessed4evr, mreichuel, Kyler Conroy, cy-grl,Nothing's Sorrow

yay.. so many reviews...


	12. Chapter 11: Cut

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN**: is it bad that I enjoyed writing this chapter? That this just may be my favorite torture chapter of the fic? And it's the _last_ torture chapter… oh………

**Suggested Listening**: Shiver **by **The Birthday Massacre; Into The Nothing **by **Breaking Benjamin

**Chapter Eleven**: _Cut _

Bright light shown into his eyes and he was forced to blink a few times before his eyes focused on the blurry figures in front of him. "Good now we can get started." He vaguely felt the straps on his left arm being loosened slightly.

But he _did _feel it.

What he didn't know was why they were doing that.

He could barely lift his head anymore though he knew that the laptop was probably there, it always was. He didn't know what more they could do to him. They had gotten frustrated when the last two things hadn't worked, so he could only assume this one was just as bad.

He was currently strapped to a chair, a minor improvement over the table, and only just conscious. All he could seem to do lately was sleep. Sleep, get beaten and sleep. He had no energy and the week or more of sleep deprivation had stolen what little strength had remained.

That nasty torture had ended a few days ago, or what he thought was days ago... it could have been hours or weeks for all he knew. The only thing he did know, was that his body couldn't take much more of this treatment.

He had trouble thinking anything more than basic thoughts most of the time; mostly all he could seem to register was the pain.

The sharp lingering pain from whatever they did.

"Look up at the camera detective." he knew he couldn't comply even if he had wanted to so he didn't bother trying. An irritated sigh came and gloved hands forced his head to tilt up.

"I suppose your answer is still going to be no?" he managed to quirk his lips into a half smirk, just enough for them to have their answer. His chin was dropped letting his head sag foreword once more; greasy hair falling into a clumpy mess by his eyes.

He grimaced at the state of his hair. It was longer than he'd ever had it and was a disgusting unwashed mess, just like the rest of him. Though they had previously kept his 'burn' wounds clean and cared for, it hadn't extended to the rest of his hygiene. At least not often...

"You saw his reaction, he's as good as said no. Shall we see if this will get him to talk today? "

Something sharp sliced at his left middle finger leaving the stinging sensation as a paper cut would. Glancing over his eyes widened at the metal object hovering by his hand. If he was correct, and he prayed he wasn't, he had seen a woman detective tortured to death like this.

He tried to control his actions, his breathing, tried not to give them anything to work with.

His heart was thudding painfully inside his chest and the fear and anxiety of the situation was finally getting to him. The other tortures were nothing like this, because before he hadn't been in danger of actually _loosing _anything.

"Is it recording?" there was a soft affirmative response before his finger was twisted in such a way that he _heard _bone crack more than he actually felt it. He sucked in a breath and choked on the air as his whole left arm seized in pain rather than just the one spot.

"It snapped that easily? Well this certainly will go quicker." his mind registered the softly spoken words though he was sure they weren't meant to be recorded.

His mind swam with thoughts and bile rose in his throat as the knife was raised once more. A few more inches and it would be in his flesh, tearing at him, cutting him, taking away a _piece _of him.

"No!" he yelled just as the knife touched his skin.

Time seemed to freeze as he realized his mistake. He squeezed his eyes tightly together to block out the smirking face before him. His jaw clenched in anger and his lips trembled. He had given them a reaction. He had given them exactly what they had been hoping for.

Had shown them there was something he was afraid of, something that could be used against him.

Instead of saying anything to him he watched as the knife descended into the space between the broken bits of bone and tissue. His vision blacked out and it was as if he could feel the knife cutting through each individual nerve, vein and piece of flesh one by one instead of the swift effective cutting.

He couldn't _move_, he couldn't _breath_, he couldn't _think_.

He watched with horror as the finger was removed and tossed to the rollaway table across from him. Blood was streaming from the empty spot his finger had once occupied and it only took one actual look at it before he turned his head and heaved; stomach contents splashing to the floor.

He was shaking, gasping for air and couldn't seem to stop the fear from clawing its way across his mind.

"I will ask you one last time now that you know what I intend to do with the next two. Will you give us L's location?"

Two?

Two more? He was going to loose...

He couldn't stop his lips from trembling. "No." he whispered, sealing his fate. But knowing what was coming, after enduring the previous amount of pain, made his body react before his mind could tell him to stop.

The second the gloved hand, white now stained with red, grabbed at his ring finger he began to struggle. The strap was loosened just enough on that wrist that he was able to make it hard for the man to keep a hold of his hand; but in the end his efforts were futile.

This time, in spite, the man didn't bother to break the bone first and instead cut right into the finger, just below the final knuckle. The man kept the grip on his ring finger taut as he pressed the knife harder through the flesh and muscle.

He screamed as the fragile bone finally gave way and snapped under the ministrations. The finger was wiggled side to side and blood flowed easily from the damaged appendage. The remaining muscle and tissue were roughly cut away leaving tears to slip unnoticed from his eyes.

He was dizzy, cold and was in so much pain that the word '_pain' _wasn't even relevant anymore.

There were no more questions asked this time, that really had been his _last_ chance. He squirmed tiredly in the chair as the third finger, his index, was clutched in slippery hands. The knife's shiny metal was slicked and coated with his blood and the edges dulled.

He couldn't choke back another scream and felt awful knowing that they were recording this; that others were going to watch him loose it.

By the time the final finger was removed he could do nothing more than stare blankly at his hand, the adrenaline having long since been removed from his veins, pouring out along with vital blood onto himself and the cement flooring.

**-End **_**Cut**_**-**

**AN:** I'm usually really squeamish concerning fingers but I think I did alright with this, right? Review and tell me?!!!

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Rin, Salvi, Kitsune-Demon-Fox, jinnabun, MattJeevasROCKSeveryone'sSocks, Possessed4evr


	13. Chapter 12: Disquiet

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN**: OMG I can't believe this chapter got to 3,000 words... and I'm sooo excited about the next chapter. Its short (so I will probably release it tomorrow as a treat) but I like it. *evil grin*

And THANK YOU, I got 12 reviews for last chapter, 12! That's awesome!

**Suggested Listening**: Long Way To Happy **by** Pink**; **I Need A Miracle **by** Fragma (no idea why this was on my playlist for JNRR... yes I have a playlist just for this fic... so sue me.)

**Chapter Twelve**: _Disquiet _

_~Matt~ _

The past few months had been.... trying. To say the least. Every two to three weeks we received a video. If we hadn't found it before a certain date, as they didn't always leave clues for me to use, then it would be aired on television.

Because of this many detectives had backed off and left the case to others. I hated them. It wasn't just about Mello, though the rest of the world could burn if it would get him back by my side, everyone was in danger because of the Organization.

They had made it more than clear that they weren't stopping anytime soon. Detectives first, then came law enforcement and finally the governments. They had wanted to start small and work their way up, and they had been doing a damn good job of it so far.

After Mello's capture there had been a small decrease in detective killings before spiking at an all time high. Though they only broadcast Mello's torture, live or otherwise. I didn't know why, neither did L, but in a sick way it at least proved he was still alive.

But with the increase in violence and severity in his torture sessions... I couldn't say for how long, even with knowing they needed him alive. Sometimes, usually when I was by myself, I almost wished that he would cave and spill our location. At least then his torture might end.

Then I'd realize what I was thinking and take a short rest. Those idiotic thoughts only appeared when I was tired. Alone. And after another video had been found or aired.

There had been three more video's since the second one.

And Mello had been captive for close to four months.

Currently I was working on the latest video which we had come across over two weeks ago; so I suppose it was rather futile to still be mulling over it. I let my eyes close in shame as I recalled what my reaction had been to the video. It was not one of my prouder moments.

And yet completely justified. At least in my mind. I was the reason he was still there.

I hadn't been able to disconnect myself from any of his tortures, and this one had been no different.

He was wearing thin, and they had made a real mess of him. He had been hallucinating towards the end of it. Mello had always handled sleepless nights well, so I could only imagine how long they had deprived him of sleep for all that to happen.

At one point, I had almost though he would give in and tell them where L was, just to get some sleep. But he hadn't

It hurt... to see him like that. He shouldn't have been there in the first place, and not for so long. There was just nothing to go on, not since their first slip up.

Or maybe it had been intentional, the video had been left in that mansion after all. It just didn't matter to me any longer. We didn't have any new leads, even with Jasper helping, not that I expected much.

So even as I watched the newest video for the tenth or so time, still unable to fully hide a wince at his state, I didn't expect much.

I let my mind wander. There had to be something we could do... the next one was being aired live, or so the note attached to this one had stated.

Aired live...

Could we possibly.... maybe if we were prepared we could...?

I closed my laptop and stalked out of my room. I was usually in the computer room but had taken a few hours by myself today. We would have to act quickly since they could start broadcasting at any time now. But this might just be what we needed....

We had never previously known when, or what form the video's would take. Whether they would be in tape form, released on the net or aired live so we had never bothered with this before. But now that we knew for certain the next one would be live, perhaps we could trace the signal.

I explained that to L as I set up my laptop by my usual work station.

"Hm... that just may work. At any rate, I would say that it is worth a try. What would you require of Near and I?" L's eyes glanced briefly at me while he stacked sugar cubes in his coffee.

"You would be backing me up. I highly doubt that they are stupid enough not to hide their signal, we will probably be hacking through dummy signal's within the broadcast, and even possibly have to sift through them to find the one linking to the actual one. I don't know how long the broadcast will be and I cant chance my skills not being enough. We will only have one shot." I watched as L stirred his syrup-in-a-cup and began opening specialized programs on both mine and Mello's computer.

I had already added most of my programs to Mello's laptop two months ago, in case one of them was compromised in some way or I needed to run multiple programs and watch them at the same time without the pc slowing down. It would be more than useful for what we would attempt to do.

I was going to set Mello's up as the backup. It would have a whole different set of programs up and ready in case I had to use them on the fly.

"Get everything set up then. I believe you will have us using your programs?" I smirked. I still hadn't given L my hacking programs. I would have to update mine after this to make sure they were still better than whatever L could drudge up. How else would I make money after this?

"Already on it." I mumbled to him as I sent my programs in a package over L's server. They would be installed in less than three minutes on all of the computers once L opened it. I couldn't worry about their end right now, I had to make sure everything was working just right on my own laptop.

I wouldn't let it be my error screwing Mello's chances up again.

I vaguely heard Near asking L if he was supposed to click on something or not and withheld a sigh. Near was good at hacking, but anything else with a computer and he was lost. I didn't understand it _at all_.

As I tweaked seemingly random things around the laptop I was suddenly glad I had gotten some sleep earlier, because until that broadcast started, none of us were leaving this room unless it was an emergency.

Hell there was even a bathroom in here, so if one of us was inside when it started it wouldn't take long to get to our computer.

Too bad there weren't any beds.

One day passed. Then two. On the second day I was starting to get antsy. It was almost the three weeks mark and still nothing. I knew there was no reason to be worried, that they would broadcast soon, but waiting always made things worse-

-beep- -beep-

"Start!" I had the computers set to chime when any of the normal broadcasts were interrupted, and sure enough as Watari turned on the television is was blank except for the word Organization. Though I had only glanced at it to make sure.

The three of us were typing as fast as we could to trace the signal, shredding through fake lines the second we spotted them. But there were many. They were broadcasting from several thousands places at once. At least that's what it appeared.

Naturally there would only be one main point of origin, but it was connected to many other servers and spreading the signal rapidly in every direction so the starting location was hidden.

I swore as the actual video began. Not even five minutes later I heard Mello yell 'No!' clear as day. I itched to turn around and see what they were doing to him, but I had to concentrate on the hack.

Thankfully Watari turned the volume down or muted it, so it made it easier.

"I would say it is almost finished." he stated softly a few minutes later. I grit my teeth. There was so little time and it was looking like we wouldn't be able to hack the feed in time. I paused my own hack and left it to L and Near who's fingers were flying across the keyboards.

Instead I switched to Mello's laptop with the desired programs already open and continued on. His computer was a little slower in some areas, but would be faster in the end. To use this program was to have all fire walls and anti-virus material off. It needed unrestricted access that a firewall would hinder.

The main problem was all the things that crept onto the computer in doing away with the security. Which is why I hadn't used mine, and used this as a last resort.

L and Near were diverting a lot of the duplicate and fake signals though it still left me a lot to go through in about thirty seconds.

Twenty seconds. "Shit..."

Fifteen.

Ten. I had found the original, not the location yet, but I had the direct signal. Now to follow it back...

Five.

I narrowed it down to two possible locations before I couldn't get any further, but not because the actual broadcast had ended; a virus was eating its way through Mello's laptop. Quickly memorizing the information I pulled his laptop free from the main hookup to L's network and slipped in a flash drive.

A box popped open and I typed in a few lines of code and watched as the screen flashed before going white. That virus had been made to corrupt whatever attacking system and steal their data before wiping the host computer clean.

The only way to stop it was to wipe the computer before they could get their hands on anything. Mello would definitely need a new laptop after this.

"Matt?" I yanked the flash drive out and pocketed it again. I had only brought it just in case, and I was happy I had. Because smashing the laptop to pieces wouldn't have worked and neither would forcing it to crash.

I stood up and moved over to L's computer and typed out the two locations into an open Word document.

"This is what I had gotten to before they infected his computer. From what I can tell they don't know I have this yet, but I would hurry. If they are at one of these locations and know they have been compromised..." L nodded and immediately had Watari call people to check them out.

As much as I would love for him to have local police just storm into those places, if Mello _was _in one of them, it might get him killed. So as painstakingly slow as it would be to have people take the time to properly watch each location, it was smarter in the long run.

Having run out of cigarettes, and needing a quick break, I headed for the door intending to spend a few minutes by myself.

"Matt, before you go, would you like for me to bring anything back when I get L his sweets?" Watari asked me while he slowly pushed the cart in front of him. It was filled with empty dishes that had once contained various types of sweet things. How he and Mello could eat so much of that stuff without going into a coma I would never know.

"If it's not to much trouble, just something small to snack on." Watari smiled at me for a moment, before he took on a much more somber expression.

"That won't be a problem. However, since there is no real need of it... I would suggest that you do not watch the new broadcast." he continued on and out of the room and all I could do was stand there and stare stupidly at the spot he'd vacated.

For Watari to suggest something like this... whatever had been done to Mello had to have been _bad_.

I would have gone back and retrieved my laptop but I figured I wouldn't be left alone for very long if I stayed in my room. So watching the broadcast would have to happen in the computer room. Not something I really wanted to do.

My steps were brusque and my motions in grabbing my cigarettes even quicker. I had originally intended to smoke one or two in my room and head back. Instead, I pocketed six packs, my ear buds, and returned to my laptop.

Now nervous, worried and completely tense I pulled up the recorded broadcast and made sure that my ear buds were in securely. It wouldn't do to have whatever I would be watching to suddenly be spouting across the room because I accidently pulled the chord loose.

With a poorly hidden sigh I clicked play.

The first minute or so wasn't so bad, though it did allow me time to look Mello over. He was exhausted, emaciated and barely conscious. But still alive. His hair was longer and clumped together, when was the last time water had touched it?

And I could just make out his burns from the ice cubes and salt, the ones on his right arm hidden as his arms were strapped wrist down.

I watched as a knife was taken out and brought over to his left hand and a cut was made below the final knuckle.

I still had no real idea what they would be doing, were they going to just cut him up or...

Mello was rapidly loosing what little composure he'd had left. I heard his breathing pick up and his whole body tensed. It was as though he knew exactly what they were going to do to him.

I watched silently as the man, a doctor I would be inclined to say, broke the middle finger on his left hand. Just broke it, applied pressure until it snapped like a twig. Mello choked on air and froze, panic in his eyes as the knife was raised again.

So many things swam across his features, but the main one was panic.

"No!" he yelled. This was when Watari had turned the sound off earlier so we could hack without distractions. Mello looked horrified that he'd shown them fear, and I could understand why. These people were sick, and they lived for it, and would use it against him.

I was more than worried when they didn't taunt him as they usually did, instead...

Instead they moved onto cutting his finger off. Completely _off_. Mello was pale and gasping; I had never seen him look so... scared. It hurt so bad to watch him like this.

Blood was spilling all over him and the floor as his finger was tossed somewhere off camera. Mello took one look at his hand and threw up.

And it only got worse for him when he wouldn't give them anything on L. They cut off two more fingers on his left hand. He had lost his composure completely before the end. So exhausted and hurt that he couldn't help but scream.

I clenched my fists so tightly my fingers ached.

The clip ended with him staring blankly at his hand, seemingly watching as he bled out. He needed to be found soon or we weren't going to find him alive. If they were this frustrated with Mello's lack of cooperation that they were already... cutting things off, what would they try next?

I quickly lit a cigarette from one of my new packs and took many long drags from it, trying to get as much of the calming nicotine into my body as I could. I had finished three cigarettes total before Watari appeared with the food.

He set a plate of sandwiches in front of me and I smiled weakly. I no longer felt like eating anything at all. But I knew I would. I needed to eat, and I would feel bad for making Watari get it only to have it sit there.

"Thank you." he gave me a warm smile and walked off to L, who was then surrounded by sweets.

Quickly stubbing out the remainder of the fourth cigarette I hesitantly picked up one of the sandwiches and bit into it. I suppose it would have tasted excellent had I eaten before I watched the broadcast.

Now... I _knew_ I was eating, but I couldn't really taste it. Perhaps that was at least better than it tasting horrible.

I was only able to stomach two of the small sandwiches before feeling sick. Any more and it would be coming back up. I needed sleep... but if I left then they wouldn't inform me of anything until I had gotten up on my own.

It was going to be a long wait before we knew anything. I wasn't even sure how long. It might be hours... or it might be days. With a sigh I pulled my goggles to rest at my neck and leaned back in the chair. Folding my arms I attempted to get comfortable.

It was warm in the room, not uncomfortable, just warm. With that and the soothing sounds of typing I was able to drift off occasionally, but never for too long. The chair was ok to sit in, but not for any length of time.

The process was repeated a few more times, and each time it seemed like I got less sleep.

I was eventually startled awake by L's phone ringing. Sitting up quickly and rubbing my blurry eyes, I yawned quietly. My neck was stiff and I rolled my shoulders to release some of the tension.

"Alright, get everything ready. I want to be connected before you go in." I had yawned so many times in the past few minutes I missed half the conversation. Pulling my goggles back over my eyes I looked in L's direction.

"Matt, the Organization is currently staying in Finnmark, Norway. I have my contact acting as my proxy and the local police will be forming a strike force. They should be ready within the next hour."

I sucked in a breath.

Finally, after nearly four months, we were going to free Mello and take that damn organization down.

**-End **_**Disquiet**_**-**

**AN:** Yes! We are finally winding down with this. Only a few more chapters left..

**Special thanks to my reviewers**: Possessed4evr, Ironytoday, lovelyblackheart, Salvi, Kitsune-Demon-Fox, Kyler Conroy, Lucifaera, MattJeevasROCKSeveryone'sSocks, merichuel, jinnabun, cy-grl, Rin

Review please!


	14. Chapter 13: Wither

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own Death Note...

**AN:** Yup it's short, i did tell you that. But short is sweet, ne? or is this bitter? (And 9 reviews, that awesome. Really you reviewers are great ^_^)

**Suggested Listening**: Hello **by** Evanescence**; **The Bitter End **by** Placebo**; **Heaven's A Lie **by** Lacuna Coil**; **Remember Me **by **The Birthday Massacre (I don't know... this song was just like the theme for this chapter... I think mainly because it was on repeat.. ^_^)

**Chapter Thirteen:** _Wither _

His hand was throbbing again. Different in the fact that he could feel heat radiating from it. It felt nice, in a way, against his cold skin. He was tired. Always tired.

And the cement was icy, sucking away all his heat and making it so very hard to sleep. He lay there, motionless, shivering. His hand lay, badly bandaged, by his face. The stink of metal, blood, so close to his nose that it was sickening.

But he was too tired to move. And even if he could, he didn't dare move that arm.

He hadn't been back in his 'room' for too long. At least it didn't seem like a long time. Hours maybe? They had stopped the bleeding, put a hasty wrap on his hand, and thrown him back into his hell. He could still see the bloodstains from where he was; they hadn't even bothered to clean the floor.

He closed his eyes for a long time, willing away the dizzy feeling that now came whenever his eyes focused on something for too long; that came whenever he moved his head too fast. He knew that wasn't a good sign, nor was the pounding in his head that had only recently come.

Fogging up his thoughts.

His breathing was steadier now, slower. He just had to stay awake...

But for what reason?

There really was nothing to look foreword to... nothing except more pain. Pain that never went away.

He just couldn't stay awake anymore... just couldn't _care_...

His body had mostly shut down, and now, so was his mind. It was so hard to focus on any one thought... Everything was just... there. Drifting.

Everything _hurt_.

Something was tugging gently at his mind, a thought of red hair, and a smile...

"Matt..." he whispered. His eyes were shut, and his breathing slowed. "I'm...sorry..." he couldn't remember what for, only that he was sorry. His body relaxed, and like that of the grip of sleep, he drifted off.

**-End **_**Wither**_**-**

**AN: **Don't kill me yet! You have Matt's chapter coming next..... Poor Mello. I'm so evil to him. Which is odd, because Mello is my favorite DN character (actually, anime character in general). Eh well...

**Special thanks to my reviewers**:Raisel, Ironytoday, lovelyblackheart, merichuel, Kyler Conroy, I Hope U Hear My Silent Scream, Rin, Possessed4evr, jinnabun

Review.......


	15. Chapter 14: Remnant

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN**: Yay..... I have been dying to write this chapter ever since I began twelve. Mainly because it kind of wraps things up... T^T Sorry for taking so long…… I was preoccupied with getting my new oneshot 'Bitter' up… hehe

**Suggested Listening**: Collapse **by** Saosin**;** Cold **by** Crossfade; Steal My Romance **by **Ghosts On The Radio

**Chapter Fourteen**: _Remnant_

_~Matt~_

It had been annoying to have to wait for the police to get their act together though I knew it was necessary. They needed their body armor and guns and whatever else they planned on using in their assault.

They were aiming not only to free Mello, I had a feeling he was second priority, but to take down what they could of the Organization. We didn't know if the Organization had more than one place or not, but by the looks of it, everyone was there.

Once the assault began, we would be patched into all of the team leaders so we would be able to keep track of what was going on. It wasn't as good as being there, but that option was out of the question.

Even if it hadn't been too far away from where we were, and leaving would have made Mello wait even more, I doubted L would even let me out of this building. I wouldn't put it passed him to drug my coffee or outright inject me with something.

In his eyes it was just safer to wait until Mello was brought here, where he would be staying in the infirmary. Wammys, after all, had all the best.

"Everyone is ready and on site. Just waiting for your go ahead." a voice spoke over the computer, rather than cell phone. It was always amazing to see just how much influence L had.

Something I would never regret giving up.

"Aim to capture and detain, but if lives are in danger, shoot to kill." the proxy took that as L's order and gave the go ahead to start. Everything was quiet, just the sounds of the men breathing, as the teams moved into position. It was weird only having audio and no video to go along with it.

Thought they were going to be on radio silence until most of the place was taken over or unless it was absolutely necessary to speak, such as a gunfight. We all sat in tense silence until the first sounds of a scuffle began. Though things seemed to be going well if they had yet to shoot anyone.

A few minutes later gunshots sparked over one of the com-links and the all out silence was broken. Their cover gone, soft whispers and full out shouted orders came across the speakers. The entire place was now on alert and it seemed that even the Organization, for all their spouting about justice, had just as many guns as a normal gang might.

Five minutes passed before we received any word.

"We have just over thirty Organization members in custody between the teams; no one has found the prisoner yet." I had to wonder just how many people were actually in this thing, and when the use of the knockout gas would be needed, if at all.

Fifteen minutes later another one-hundred and sixty people were detained. Most of the main areas were cleared, leaving only locked rooms and the basement to go through. According to records on the Organization's database, not everyone was there at the moment.

A few of them had been away on some business or other while another six of them had been away getting supplies; but the rest of it was encrypted so their locations remained secret.

There was no doubt that they had been tipped off, but it couldn't be helped. With access to everything the Organization had, they wouldn't remain free for too long, not with us looking.

"According to the doctor they had here, your friend was never properly treated after the last torture session. We are bringing the medics in under guard even though we have yet to locate him."

I lit another cigarette and took a long drag. _'Was never properly treated'_. What exactly did that mean? Just how bad would he be right now? They didn't just leave him there to bleed out, did they?

No.

They would have still wanted him alive. So... a quick bandage or what...?

Ten more minutes went by and they had four teams entering the basement, it split off in two different directions and was more like a dungeon by the descriptions we were receiving. As well as two other teams searching the locked area's by floor. Thankfully there were only two floors.

"Sir, get the medics to the first floor. We... we found the prisoner in one of the heavily bolted rooms."

I was more than a little surprised that they hadn't kept him in the basement. Isn't that usually where people were kept; or was that only in the movies?

Nothing else was said over the com-link and I was more than a little irritated, I mean, was he even alive? I hated to think that he wasn't but a confirmation that he was at least breathing would have been nice.

Well, if they had called the medic, that meant he was alive... right?

I tried to stop my thoughts, as they were beginning to travel in circles and made less and less sense. Taking a long drag of the cigarette helped...

There was a small gasp when the medic arrived and I doubted that was a good sign. The medic soon began to spout off a whole bunch of things that I couldn't even begin to follow.

Computers were my thing, not medicine. Neosporin and band-aids were the extent of my knowledge, so I had a bit of difficulty following the exchange.

Apparently I wasn't the only one as one of the men there interrupted all the medical gibberish. "What _exactly_ does all this mean?" there was an irritated sigh, the medic I suppose, and a moment of silence before anything more was spoken.

"You say you want him transported immediately to some secret hospital hours away or whatever. I'm telling you, he _won't_ make the flight." I almost choked on my cigarette at those words.

"His hand looks infected and he's damn lucky he hasn't bled to death with the way they bandaged it. Not to mention being emaciated and just in bad shape overall. Is that clear enough for you?"

"What do you suggest then?" came the hesitant reply.

"He needs to get to a hospital, doesn't matter where as long as it is close. And he needs to get there soon. He's hanging on by a thread and nothing more."

"Did you get all that, L?" the man asked through the com-link. Honestly, it was a stupid question as it had been L who requested the headsets for that exact reason.

"Do it. Get him out of there." I said. L turned to me, his wide dark eyes staring at my concealed ones.

He switched the microphone off before speaking to me. "You do realize that he will be in just as much danger in a regular hospital? Or did you forget-"

"And from what I'm hearing, it danger or death. I'm certain Mello would prefer a little danger." I stubbed out the cigarette, it having gotten far too low to be smokable, and immediately lit another.

I was going to end up as a chain smoker after all of this....

"I suppose you are correct..." he turned back to the microphone with a sigh. Would he have sent Mello on the plane if I hadn't been here right now? Would I have even been informed off all the facts...?

"Have him, under the supervision of your team and the medic, taken to a nearby hospital. I expect at least one of you to stay with him at all times, I am sure I do not need to explain why."

"Understood." the microphone on our side was cut off again as L turned to Watari. "I will need one ticket for the next flight to Finnmark, Norway." Watari nodded but I stopped him before he could do anything.

"If that's for me, don't bother. I'm not going yet." leaning against the computer desk I took a long drag before explaining any further.

"Would Matt care to explain?" Near finally spoke up; it was the first thing I had heard him say for quite a while. Leaving the cigarette sitting at the corner of my mouth I inwardly sighed.

"Mello will be fine on his own for now. However there are still Organization members out there which pose a threat. It would be better to have me hacking the encrypted files and finding out their locations. The sooner they are caught, the sooner everyone is out of danger." not that L or Near couldn't just do it themselves.

But I needed something to do. I couldn't just sit by while Mello was in surgery, or while he was recovering. Who knew how long it would be before he actually woke up. I couldn't stand sitting and waiting any more.

And if I were truthful... I was being a coward. I couldn't face Mello yet. Couldn't... no _didn't_ want to see him right now.

It wasn't because of everything that had been done to him. Not really. It was because I hadn't been good enough to find him sooner; find him before they had inflicted so much pain on him... I didn't want to sit and think those thoughts.

He was safe, as safe as he could be, for the moment.

"I do not understand, L or I could do that..." Near had his fingers twisting his hair tightly as he trailed off, appearing confused for once. Watari walked up to me, and for a moment I thought he might try to persuade me otherwise.

Instead he just placed a hand on my shoulder and nodded. It figured that he'd be the one to understand; though L probably had it figured out as well, though that was a bit of a toss up as he failed at social interactions. Which was why Near was confused by my actions.

The entire time I had been so dead set on getting Mello back, and now that he was safe, for all appearances it was as though I was throwing him aside. And... maybe I was. It kind of felt like it.

But I couldn't go to him feeling like this.

"Matt's help will be appreciated." L said as he half chewed on his thumb. I wondered if, instead of it just being a fixation on sweets, if he just had to have something in his mouth. It was either food or the edge of his thumb...

"I will bring more refreshments." Watari said lightly and exited the room. I wish I could just work from my room, but it was better to be directly hooked up to L's network rather than operate through the backdoor.

First thing was first... I needed to contact Jasper. I couldn't call him from here unless I wanted L and Near to listen in, which I didn't, so he would have to deal with an e-mail. At least I was remembering to tell him this time.

With his e-mail out of the way I had time to wait until L's contact sent everything to him, and then in turn, to me. It seemed that all we were doing was waiting on something.

L was still connected via the com-links so the room wasn't in complete silence.

They had found another twelve people, some had fled to the basement and others had hidden in rooms inside the mansion. Out of those twelve, only four were in custody; the others having to be shot. I wasn't too terribly sad to hear that.

They were apparently in the final stages of securing the entire mansion. Which considering its size, and the people that had been available, was good time. Lucky really.

I vaguely heard the contact say something about all the information being transferred soon, but I was distracted by Watari coming back. He set a cup of coffee by my laptop as well as a small plate of food.

Truth be told I was kind of hungry, but not really up to eating. He must have guessed that since it was only a small plate. I ate what I could and filled myself up with coffee.

The laptop beeped a small while later and a small message on the bottom of the screen suggested that I had a message waiting for me. It was probably from Jasper. I could read it later.

"Alright, every part of the database we could get our hands on was sent to you. It should almost be done downloading if you started when it prompted you. Should I be heading off to the hospital too or stay here?"

I ignored the conversation going on, as it really didn't matter what the contact's answer turned out to be, and instead turned my attention to the files now appearing on L's mainframe.

Most of it was encrypted, and I was sure there were booby-traps filled with viruses that could eat away at my computer in minutes if I wasn't careful. These people, however much I hated them, were well prepared.

But I had a very good incentive to get all of this finished as quickly as I could.

I should have known things were not going to be quite as simple as they were planned out to be. The hacking part hadn't been hard, it was the fact that the files were corrupt that was the problem.

By the time everything was sent to L their database had been in the beginning stages of deleting itself and everything in it. The process was stopped when the files were sent, but not before everything was mixed up.

Sentences merged and words missing to form a lovely mess of gibberish. Near was working on untangling the mess while I was trying to see if I could recover the actual files. L was still dealing with the happenings of the mansion and the transportation of the criminals, though I wouldn't have been surprised if he was working on the files too.

I managed to recover a dismal amount of sixteen files. Out of two hundred and forty-seven. Near only managed to decipher nine files in the same amount of time; which was almost ten hours. But considering the state of the files, that was a miracle.

We obtained the location of the ones who had been on a supply run; apparently they hadn't gotten the memo and were still out and about. They had been apprehended rather quickly.

If the database corruption had gone on much longer they might have been tipped off, as I had found programs embedded within the virus that was set up to send out coded messages to everyone starting from the top and working its way down.

Those six had been down rather far in the food chain.

Four of the more essential members were still missing. However the likelihood of them still being there once we got their locations, because we would despite how slow it was happening, was slim.

Though there was the chance that we could track their movements from their last position, one of them was bound to make a slip up. And one of us would notice it. They were doomed the moment they declared war on the world, and the world's greatest detectives.

Sadly it had taken more time then any of us would have liked to get them. Countless cups of coffee and packs of cigarettes later, we still had one more to get. And this was nearly a week later.

And three days after L had received word on Mello's condition. He'd had to go into surgery because of his hand, that had been a given since there hadn't been much more than a patch on his wounds, but I had been more than a little shocked when I'd heard what they'd had to do...

I honestly couldn't remember how I'd reacted when L told me. Though I suppose if I had shown anything outwardly then L would have commented on it.

It had made me all that more anxious to get the last guy.

He was careful, despite having used his credit card in the beginning. We had his face, and his name. And everything that came with it. But he was apparently at the top for a reason, he had made a mistake, but had been smart enough to realize it and rectify it.

I was back and forth between skimming the decrypted files for anything more on this man and watching his credit cards and bank accounts in case he did anything with them, in which case I would know. L was doing _something_, he hadn't exactly said what so I hadn't asked, as well as keeping a close eye on the mans known associates.

He was the only remaining piece left of this organization, that we knew of. The last person that we could find connected with it. Once he was gone... the case would be closed. And then I could go see Mello...

That didn't happen for yet another two days.

The man had probably felt safe enough to contact one of his friends. That was his mistake, or maybe he hadn't thought anyone was watching anymore.

Either way, he was spotted by L. And in under an hour the man was in custody. It was as though a weight had been lifted. The case was finally over. All of the sacrifices made had amounted to something.

But thinking on that... with Mello, it would never be enough. Everything he had gone through, and was still going through, would not be changed by a _case closed_.

As of right now, I didn't even know if he was awake or not.

"Watari, would you mind booking me a flight while I go pack?" I received a smile in return so I left. As much as I wanted to just toss everything into my suitcase and leave, I knew things wouldn't fit if I did that.

I yawned; I hadn't slept in a bed in... a while. I couldn't actually remember. And I knew I probably wouldn't get much sleep on the plane either but I wasn't going to put this off any longer.

Mello was safe from the Organization, as was the rest of the world as far as we knew, so there was nothing keeping me away anymore. I just hoped everything would work out once I got there.

After all, the human mind could only take so much before snapping. And Mello was no exception.

**-End **_**Remnant**_**-**

**AN**: omg. This chapter.... just.. wow. I had not expected it to even be this long, but here we are. And what a way to end it. Though there is still the Epilogue and a special chapter.

And though I hadn't said it in so many words (really only giving the barest hints), when the Organization move themselves, they split off into groups and travel at different times, which is why some weren't at the base at the time of the raid.

So, feel free to review and tell me what you thought.

**Special thanks to my reviewers**: Salvi, Kyler Conroy, jinnabun, Possessed4ever, Raisel


	16. Epilogue: Eyesore

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN:** I think I'm about to die, 106 reviews! Holy s**t!!!!

So here we are... the final chapter (besides the special chapter). Wow, is all I can say.

**Suggested Listening**: Je Ne Regrette Rien** by **Cinema Bizarre**;** My Dying Star **by **In This Moment (I am addicted to both these songs...)

**Epilogue**:_ Eyesore _

_~Mello~ _

The first time I opened my eyes I had been confused. Disoriented.

_Why were the walls white? Where was the dim lighting, the cold floor?_

_Why did I feel so damn tired? _And more importantly...

_Why the hell was I sill alive?_

My thoughts had been spinning around in a hundred different directions and it wasn't until a nurse came in that I finally understood. I had been rescued. Because had I still been with the Organization, they wouldn't have brought me to a hospital.

I don't know why I hadn't recognized the antiseptic smell right away.

I had been awake such a small amount of time that the nurse hadn't even noticed, and I wasn't really awake or aware long enough until days later. I wasn't even sure how long I had been there to begin with. Or where 'here' was.

It wasn't Wammys, that much I was certain.

But that fell to the back of my mind as I soon realized I couldn't move my left hand. At all. It was hidden by so _many_ bandages that had something not felt _wrong _I might have just chalked it up to the movement being restricted.

I asked about it the next time the actual doctor came in, as the nurses never seemed to want to explain anything, not even what fucking country I was in. The man seemed hesitant to answer anything, and that worried me. It was hard to even look threatening when I was hardly even able to sit up by myself.

Though he did finally answer. And I honestly hadn't expected...

Hadn't it been enough that I had my three of my fingers forcefully _cut off_? Hadn't enough happened...? But no. Apparently it hadn't been enough.

When I'd been brought in, I had been in horrible shape, or so the doctor said. Suffering from numerous things... however the real problem had been that my poorly bandaged hand had gotten infected.

It was either my hand or my life.

I looked down at the stump that used to be my hand; thick white bandages covered it, though small red splotches still seeped through. I would never be able to hold a gun again; my right hand shook too much for whatever reason...

I closed my eyes. This was just one of many lasting injuries I had. The fingers on my right hand curled around the rough hospital blankets and clutched desperately at the fabric.

I would not cry. Not after everything I had endured. Even if I had lost the thing most important to me... for what other reason was I here alone?

Had been alone for _days._.. no one had even sent any word.

Who could love me when I looked like this? The burn scar on my face had been bad enough, but this... this made that scar look like a scrape in comparison.

I hung my head; long locks of faded blonde hair shadowing my eyes. I couldn't stop the tears this time.

I felt _pathetic_.

"Mello..." a familiar voice whispered. And despite myself I looked up. Matt stood there, in the doorway, looking like he hadn't slept in days. Goggles hung loosely around his neck as though they had just been carelessly tugged off.

"I'm sorry." He moved, though I expected him to leave, and crossed the room to my bedside.

"I should have been here when you woke up." I leaned in to his touch, despite the painful sensations it sent through me, as he gently wiped my tears away.

"There were still some things to tie up with the Organization... and I... I couldn't face you yet." his voice broke at the end and I felt all my hope shatter.

I had known he would be disgusted with me but to actually hear it… hurt worse than anything they had done to me.

"I'm so sorry I didn't get to you sooner." his voice was anguished and I could also hear anger in it.

"It's alright if you... can't stand me now..." I managed to whisper.

"What? Why would I- oh Mello you idiot!" he grabbed my face with both of his hands and forced me to look at him.

"I love you, nothing will change that. Nothing!" he kissed me. "You're beautiful, you always have been." he kissed me again. "You are mine, and a few scars won't change that, do you understand?" I nodded and a tiny smile reached my lips.

"I'd prefer sexy." I murmured. He laughed, seemingly relieved. "Sexy it is."

Maybe I had been wrong... but maybe it made him blind.

"We'll get through this Mihael, so stop thinking so damn much." he laced our fingers together and the warmth of his skin felt good.

Maybe he was blind....

But maybe I _didn't_ care.

_**-Finite-**_

**AN**: Hehehe. I'm soooooo mean to marshMello-chan! But the epilogue of this was (or at least the last 436 words) was the first thing written for JNRR. So I knew how I wanted this to end before I even really began.

I absolutely enjoyed writing WSF, NAA and JNRR. I adore the little universe I created. Next is the special chapter and then its over.

But fear not, I have a new fic in the works already, and once I get enough chapters done I'll start posting it. I'm planning on writing it all in 3rd person...well see how that goes. But for now I'll leave you with the summary, which may change.... as well as the title. Lol. And I already have the ending for this one planned out as well. ^_^

"_**Choices**__"_

_Matt, a genius hacker and spy, is sent undercover at Wammys for the sole purpose of discovering the secrets of the mysterious letter known only as L. The only problem... he didn't plan on falling in love with his roommate. _

So there you have it. ^_^

**Special thanks to my reviewers**: Rin, Salvi, Kyler, lovelyblackheart, jinnabun, Galaxy The Element Girl, MattyJeevasismyLOVER

Review so I update the last chapter quicker..... otherwise I'm planning on waiting a few days... hehe.


	17. Final Piece

**Disclaimer:** Have you seen all the other disclaimer's I have? Honestly?

**AN: **Well.... this started out as a slightly fluffy idea..... and well.... this is what came of it. Obviously this takes place after the epilogue..... but it is a oneshot, so time skips should be expected.....

**Suggested Listening**: You Always Believed **by **In This Moment**; **Lost In You **by **Three Days Grace**;** The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot **by** Brand New

**-Final Piece-**

Matt had just stepped out of the shower and grabbed for his towel, only to see that there was something sitting on the counter along with it. Puzzled, he picked it up with barely dry hands.

It was... a game cartridge?

What the hell was it doing in the bathroom....?

"Mello." Matt whispered. His lip quirked up slightly before going into a small smile. If Mello was trying to get him back into games like he'd done with his stripes, proof being the black and white shirt sitting atop his clean clothes, then it meant Mello was starting to climb out of the hole his depression had put him in.

Matt's smile fell as he thought of the blonde. Mello really had been through so much, too much. The loss of his left hand and the added scars on his body had hit him hard. It had taken so long to convince Mello that he wasn't going to leave him, and that he didn't care about his missing appendage.

Mello had gotten better with that as well, he was able to do a lot of things by himself now that he knew his limitations. Though Matt could see the pain in his blue eyes every time he had to ask for help.

As much as Matt wanted it too, he doubted that pain would ever really go away.

Sighing, Matt set the small piece of plastic back on the counter and dried himself off. Once he was finished dressing himself he pocketed the small cartridge and walked out into the cool apartment. He could hear faint sounds coming from the kitchen and wondered what Mello was doing, but knew that going to check on him wouldn't be a good thing.

At least not in Mello's eyes.

Tossing his dirty clothes in the hamper he entered their room in search of his laptop. Upon finding it, along with another game cartridge, he decided to look at any new cases until Mello decided to bother him. Not that it was ever really_ bothering _him.

A while later, as he was reading up on a serial murder case, he heard soft footsteps on the wood floor and looked up. Mello stood in the doorway, in a black t-shirt and sweatpants, with what looked like flour spattered across his shirt.

"Should I even ask?"

Mello's eyes narrowed for a split second before he relaxed against the doorframe. "I was attempting to make brownies..." he muttered.

"Didn't turn out well? Or you just want me to clean?" Matt knew Mello didn't like asking for help, but sometimes it felt like pulling teeth with him. Like if he didn't direct the conversation, it wouldn't happen.

"I got the mix done, and it's in the oven." so he needed help cleaning.

Matt withheld a sigh and stood up; it would be so much easier if he would just _tell _him what he wanted. He _knew _it was hard for the blonde but... sometimes it was hard on him too.

Though he would never show it.

He stopped in front of Mello and leaned in with a smirk before licking a smudge of batter off his cheek that Mello probably didn't even know was there. Blue eyes widened a fraction. "What was that for?"

"I was helping you get clean, you're very messy, you know?" while Mello was still in this rare good mood, as sometimes Mello would scowl and move away, he leaned in and stole a kiss.

"And that was because I love you." he smiled at the soft look those normally pained eyes took on.

"Shall we?" Mello nodded and followed Matt from the room. Matt had expected the kitchen to be a complete disaster, as it usually was after Mello had used it, but it wasn't that bad. Just a lot of bowls to wash, as well as the counter, which Mello couldn't quite do. Granted the floor also looked like it had been snowed on, but a mop and some water could easily fix that powdery problem.

"Sorry I dropped the flour, I didn't have a good grip on it..." there was that look again. The look Matt _hated._ So. Damn. Much. It wasn't like Mello did those things on purpose; it wasn't like he could help things like that. Matt was so sick of Mello feeling guilty over stupid things like that. But its seemed that no matter how many times he told Mello, it never sunk in.

Eyeing the carton of eggs on the counter he picked it up, waited until Mello was watching him, and _dropped_ it on the floor. "What the hell Matt?!"

"Sorry I 'dropped' the eggs. My fingers slipped." he shrugged a shoulder but from the look on Mello's face he'd gotten the message. If the slightly happy glint in his eyes was anything to go by.

Mello always had done better with practical application. Maybe Matt would just have to do things like that more often…

It took around a half hour to get the kitchen done, and another twenty minutes of waiting to take the brownies out, but finally all the cooking was done. "Want me to join you in the shower?" Matt asked as Mello headed into the bedroom.

"No... maybe tomorrow..." Matt shook his head, but was happy. Usually it was a flat out no. Mello now had a thing about Matt seeing his body, because of the scars, but they were working on that. Slowly.

Knowing that Mello would shout if he needed help, Matt went to make a pot of coffee only to have a small pile of games fly out at him when he opened the cabinet. Well... four games.

"At least they weren't in the coffee pot." Matt, as he said this, checked the coffee pot. He wondered how long Mello was going to keep this up; he already had six games. Not that he would really complain about getting free games.

He had kind of missed his games. He already had his goggles and his stripes back. The games were the last on the list. If doing this was easing Mello's stress, even a little, then he could handle games popping up all around the apartment. So long as they didn't take the place of his cigarettes... then there might be an issue.

Moving those games to his pocket as well, he finished setting up the coffee and sat down to wait for it.

It would take a long time to get Mello back to how he was before, and even then Matt doubted he would be completely the same. Not with the way Mello felt about his missing hand. He missed the blonde, and it sucked that he could say that with Mello actually in their flat.

Lighting up a cigarette, despite knowing Mello didn't like him to smoke inside, he resigned himself to another night of tense and awkward silences that seemed to plague them. They slept in the same bed, but they may as well have been in separate rooms…

Matt woke up to find another game cartridge, this time on Mello's pillow, where the blonde's head should have been. Matt sighed, another early morning then. Sometimes Mello could sleep, sometimes he couldn't.

The tension from the day before had eased off somewhat, and over the next two days, somehow disappeared completely.

Now four days since Matt had found the first game cartridge, now totaling up to fifteen, he had to wonder when this twisted Easter egg hunt would end. Not that he minded finding the little pieces of plastic everywhere, but he didn't have anything to play them on...

Did Mello even notice that little bit of information? Well, technically, he had too seeing as Matt had yet to do anything with them.

Rolling his shoulders to ease the tension that had built from hunching over his laptop, he crossed the apartment and into the kitchen. He smiled softly at the sight of the coffee pot already on, just recently from the looks of it, and a bag of his favorite coffee sitting beside it.

Mello must have been out of his usual stuff if he was using something different. Or he was lying when he claimed not to like his coffee. Either was possible.

Seeing that Mello's cup was still in the dish drain Matt pulled it as well as another cup free to sit on the counter. Mello only ever drank coffee out of one cup, which happened to be the one he'd gotten made for him. He didn't know why Mello had even kept it...

Rifling through the refrigerator he pulled free the creamer and two bars of chocolate. Fixing up both cups he pocketed the extra bar and tossed the empty wrapper. Figuring he would surprise Mello with a cup of coffee, made his way with a bar of chocolate and nothing else to 'taint' it, he carried both into the living room where Mello was sitting on the arm chair reading.

"Hey." Mello looked up, startled. "You brought me coffee. Did you-"

"Yes I put a bar of your addiction in it." Mello nodded and accepted the cup while Matt went to sit on the couch a few feet away. He had just taken a sip of the steaming brew when he noticed something odd sitting on the table.

He was only just able to hide his smirk.

Setting down the coffee Matt picked up the Gameboy color, an older model handheld but enjoyable nonetheless, and flipped the power switch after loading a random game cartridge. He saw Mello watching him out of the corner of his eyes.

He could see the small quirk of the blonde's lips, and knew Mello was happy. Maybe now Mello would finally stop blaming himself for his departure all those years ago, as he seemed to be trying to make up for, as well as begin to heal from the latest ordeal.

But if Mello was going to all this, just to make _him_ happy, perhaps Matt could try a little harder as well. Pausing the game he did something he hadn't done since Mello had been rescued, despite how much Mello's eyes pleaded where is voice wouldn't.

Settling the cigarette in his mouth, Matt pulled his goggles off to hang around his neck and took the chance to look directly at Mello, with a grin.

The smile he was rewarded with made his heart flop pleasantly. Matt decided that he could perhaps... loose his goggles on occasion, if for nothing more than to see that smile.

**-End-**

**AN:** yeah I know this was odd and all. But I love the idea of Mello, of all people, leaving around games and stuff like that for Matt.

So here it finally is. The last chapter. See you guys in my new fic "Choices", which I will be posting either today or tomorrow.

**Special thanks to ALL my reviewers**: merichuel, Possessed4evr, Ironytoday, MattJeevasismyLOVER, lovelyblackheart, jinnabun, Kyler Conroy, Galaxy The Element Girl, CaramelColoredDreams, Salvi, Rin, cy-grl, Misha2011, I Hope U Hear My Silent Scream, Maykitty, HaturoSaturnUesugi, Lellozawa, Nothing's Sorrow, Kitsune-Demon-Fox, MattJeevasROCKSeveryone'sSocks, Lucifaera, Raisel, Sakura, Demon's sinner, JNRR-fan, Lellozawa,


	18. Special

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Death Note

**AN**: Yay, so by now everyone knows that a new chapter means new content, as well as the fic was edited. Though this one needed the least work so you don't really need to reread it, I just fixed a few small issues and grammar mistakes.

Now I also have to say something before (and I probably should have put it on the other two updates for WSF and NAA) you read on.

I didn't write the new content to boost my stats or get more reviews (as was suggested to me, and that kinda irritated the fuck out of me, actually). I got what I got for reviews on these stories and I'm happy with it. Besides, Choices completely blows all of these out of the water in reviews. So I don't truly care if I get more on WSF, NAA or JNRR.

I did it (as I did state in the other ones) so that I wasn't just putting up an AN to tell you guys it was edited just to take it down. I wrote the extra content because many of you expressed wishes to know more about what happened between the fic (though I only showed you a small clip for each).

So I don't expect you to review, in fact don't. I'll just be happy if you read the new update. (feel free to review though if you haven't reviewed the fics at all though)

So that's all really. I hope you enjoy this. See you in the sequel. :)

_**-Special-**_

"I'm coming with you." Mello said before he had even processed the thought in his head. Matt stared at him in surprise and he wished he could take those words back. But taking them back was too much like slinking away in defeat.

Despite the horrifying urge to do exactly that.

He grit his teeth in annoyance at himself. He couldn't believe he had just told Matt he wanted to... leave the flat. To go shopping no less.

"Are you sure?" Matt asked while he lit a cigarette and leaned against the wall. His expression was closed off, as it had been of late. He had done that to him. Mello clenched his fist. "I'm sure." he bit out. He wouldn't take the out Matt had given him.

He stalked into the bedroom and closed the door, if he didn't Matt was more than likely to wander in there. Matt would wait for him, no matter how long he took. He shoved back the feeling of humiliation that threatened to flood his mind as he struggled with the once familiar leather.

He forced himself to calm down and he eventually got it over his hips and laced up. He found it utterly depressing that it was an accomplishment for him. He grabbed his large sunglasses and jacket and met Matt back in the kitchen, by the front door.

Matt had his goggles still over his eyes and had put on his cream colored deer skin vest. He was already ready but he still waited for Mello to tug his boots on. Mello hated the eyes that watched him from behind those damn plastic lenses.

The eyes that simply _watched_ him. He couldn't tell if it was out of pity or not, and that was what he hated.

What he hated even more was the absolute, and striking, feeling of paranoia that struck him as Matt opened the front door and walked down the hallway. Stay or follow.

Stay...

or follow....

Despite everything in his being screaming at him to stay, he left the flat and shut the door. He hadn't stepped foot outside in.... he actually couldn't remember a time in almost two years. He hated just what _it _had done to his mind.

Everyone knew his face.... he pulled his hood over his head and hunched as he walked brusquely to catch up with Matt; who was still well within eyesight. He had to have known that should he follow he would need directions to where they were going.

Matt was the one who did the shopping, and sometimes cooked. That or they did takeout. Though Matt generally went out to get it from the actual place. Mello never knew why, though it could be that he got edgy anytime someone was near their flat, even just to bring food.

His eyes darted around the unfamiliar setting and took in the sights. Never once since moving there had he seen the city. It was pathetic.

Yet Matt never said anything about it to him. Never tried to force him out of the shell he had retreated into, no matter how much it grated on him, how much it _hurt_ him...

They walked for a bit more before Matt slowed down and took a right into a small grocery store. The shopkeeper waved to Matt who smiled back as they wandered off into the aisles. And Mello tried to ignore the curious stares he was receiving for his odd dress state, though it was difficult.

But he refused to leave the flat in a t-shirt and sweats. His mind might have been a tad bit skewed as of late, but he still had_ some _pride.

Not much, but enough.

It had to be.

**-End _Special_-**

**AN**: So there we go. Just a little clip, it will make more sense once you read the prologue to The Silent Place, which SHOULD be out Friday evening (I sleep all day Friday as I don't get out of work until 7am, but don't actually get to sleep until 8am. Urg)


End file.
